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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Monthly Archives: March 2011
Tuesday Night Dinner
A lot of stuff has happened this past week (that I have not had time to post) that came to a head last night in a pretty severe “episode”. Im not even sure how I should go about trying to … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, relationships, sex, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, arms and legs tingling, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cant breathe, control, defeated, depressed, depression, Dexter, disconnected, dizzy, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, Florida, food stamps, Health, Insomnia, irritable, Medicaid, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, moving, not able to think straight, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, positive, psychological triggers, rage, recovery, self harm, self injury, sex, sick, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, suffocating, suicide, teas, United States of Tara, Walmart
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Every Day is Exactly the Same
I have some things that I wanted to talk about but I dont have time. This is the 3rd day in a row that I havent had time to post. Anyway, Ive decided to just post a song. Every Day … Continue reading
The Mall – Poem
Toast and I had a conversation about my sexual orientation last night (I dont like labels but for those of you that need them, I would be bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual or whatever youd like to call it). It was a … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Uncategorized
Tagged anxiety, art, avoidance, beauty, Bisexuality, Bodyart, borderline personality disorder, BPD, coming to terms with my sexuality, dark, depressed, depression, empty, friends, ignore, labels, lust, mental health, mental illness, mood, omisexual, ordinary journey, Pansexuality, pleasure, poem, poetry, prose, seductive, sex, Sexual orientation, sexuality, sinful, sirens, tattoo party, temptress, the mall
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Reflections on Reality and BPD
Last night I talked to Toast about yesterdays post, and he was assuring me that although I do do things that hurt him, that it is not the same as someone who maliciously hurts others to get something from them. … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, society, Uncategorized
Tagged acceptance, antisocial personality disorder, anxiety, bad person, basic emotional needs, beliefs, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Conversation, Disorders, evil, Health, illness, insanity, lie, love, magical thinking, malicious, manipulate, Mental disorder, mental health, mental illness, morals, negative, obsession, paranioa, Personality disorder, positive, reality, recovery, reflection, religion, scheme, sickness, social norms, socially accpeptable, superstition, Thought
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Back Down the Rabbit Hole
Before I get to anything else, I wanted to address the fact that the person rating my blog as very poor almost everyday is still doing so. Im not going to lie and say that it doesnt bother me at … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, Psychotherapy, relationships, society, Uncategorized
Tagged abandonment, abusive, addiction, aggression, anger, antagonism, antisocial personality disorder, Antisocial/Psychopathic Type, anxiety, anxoius, ASPD, behavior, borderline personality disorder, Borderline Type, BPD, callousness, Cluster B personality disorders, co-morbid, consumbed by fear, control, cruel, depressed, depression, diagnoses, diagnostic critereia, dominance, DSM-V, dual diagnois, emotionally unstable, empathy, empty, fear, fear of abandonment, hallucinations, histrionic personality disorder, hopeless, Hostility, HPD, Insomnia, internal torture, intimidation, irritabiltiy, lack of empathy, lack of guilt, lack of remorse, Lois and Clark, manipulative, mental health, mental illness, narcissistic personality disorder, Netflix, NPD, Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, pathetic, Personality disorder, personality disorders, personality traits, positive, psychiatric professinal cummunity, psychotherapy, questioning reality, rage, reality, recovery, Sleep, socoopathic traits, struggle, suffering, symptoms, tormentors, train of thought, traumatized, withdrawn
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Mood Update
Im just going to post an update on my mood real quick. I was going to do an actual post but my computer keeps shutting off (it does that every once in a while and I have no idea why). … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, sex
Tagged anger, anxiety, anxoius, borderline personality disorder, BPD, depressed, depression, Disorders, DSM-V, emotionally unstable, empty, Feeling, Health, Insomnia, mental health, mental illness, mood, panic attack, Personality disorder, positive, progress, sex, Sleep, United States
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Confliction, Ambivalence, Anxiety, Depression
The past few days Ive been feeling very conflicted, ambivalent if you will. My moods have been all over the place, the only constant is my ever present anxiety, which has been extremely high. I dont know why this would … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged ambivalence, anger, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, BPD, confliction, control, depressed, depression, emotionally unstable, emotions, emptiness, empty, Family, happiness, Health, ill, Insomnia, medication, mental health, mental illness, Obsessive–compulsive disorder, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, pessimism, possiblities, psychotherapy, racing thoughts, recovery, self doubt, sick, sickness, Sleep, sleep aids, social anxiety, suicide, therapy, Thought, thoughts, walking paradox, weight loss
4 Comments
Depressed and Empty
Last night my mind was obsessing about wanting to get well, and wanting to actually have the life that I want. Toast and I had a conversation about wanting (and needing) to find ways to change the things in our … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, relationships, Uncategorized
Tagged anger, anxiety, anxoius, art, Best Buy, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, control, depressed, depression, emotionally unstable, empty, Feeling, furious, grumpy, Health, hopeless, love, mental health, mental illness, obseesing, obsessive, overwhelmed, painting, panic, panic attack, paranioa, positive, rage, realistic, reality, relationship control phobia, sick, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, Walmart, Worry
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Misdiagnosis Fear
I got a letter in the mail from the psychiatrist office that I am supposed to be going to in June (although, Im still not sure if thats where I will be going, or if were going to try to … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Uncategorized
Tagged anti-psychotics, anxiety, Anxiety disorder, anxiety disorders, anxoius, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Diagnosis, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, diagnostic criteria for BPD, doctors, fear, formal diagnosis, God complex, Health, medication, mental health, mental illness, misdiagnosis, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, social anxiety, therapy, Worry
10 Comments
I Want to Believe
Last night I started thinking about the plan that we have set in motion, and how I feel about it. I started thinking that at least part of me wants to be positive about it. That I would actually like … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, Psychotherapy, Suicide, Uncategorized
Tagged anxiety, anxoius, beleive, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Community mental health service, denial, depressed, depression, devastation, emotionally unstable, empty, fail, failure, Faith, happy, master of denial, mental health, mental illness, My Life, normal life, panic, paranioa, positive, possibility, psychotherapy, Question, recovery, suicide, the last straw, therapy, Thought, under dog
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