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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Monthly Archives: August 2011
Detach, Detach, I Must Detach, I Will Not Let My Emotions Win
Im feeling kind of weird. My thoughts processes have been a bit off all day. I wasnt planning on posting today, but I was just filled with the overwhelming need to get some of this out of me, so here … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, Annabel Lee, anxiety, art, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, depression, detachment, diminshed faith, dissability, Dr Carolyn King, Edgar Allan Poe, Emotion, emotionally unstable, empty, expectations, Feeling, hopelessness, irrational thought, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, SSA, ssi, suicidal ideation, suicide, Thought
16 Comments
Monday – News From the Psychiatrist and My Appointment
I woke up in a bad mood today. I didnt feel like I was going to have enough time to get what I needed to get done, done before my appointment with Becky (DBT Centers Of Michigan), which I ended … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, antiepileptics, anxiety, Ativan, Benzodiazepine, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, Diazepam, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, gsbapentin, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, neurontin, overwhelmed, panic, psychotherapy, Rebeccan Royston, social anxiety, suicide, Valium
4 Comments
Sunday – The Zoo and More
Saturday night, after Toast read my post for that day (Repression, Emptiness, Agitation), where I had talked about crying after having an unexpected encounter with a rogue dog and our dogs, he had told me that it made him feel … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Television programs, Uncategorized, Zoos
Tagged agitation, anger, Animal, anxiety, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, Detroit Zoo, drugs, Family, fear of talking on the phone, freedom, John Ball Park Zoo, lions, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, Pit Bull, pygmy goats, Rebecca Roys, sex, Singing, Thought, True Blood, wallabies, zoo
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Velocity vs. Viscosity
I do have much to post about today, but I do not have time so it will have to wait until tomorrow. Ive decided to post something that I read earlier instead (a chapter from, Girl, Interrupted, by Susanna Kaysen). … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, BPD, depression, Disorders, Girl interrupted, mental health, mental illness, obsession, panic, Susanna Kaysen, velocity, Viscosity
8 Comments
Repression, Emptiness, Agitation
Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals, contains mention of self harm and suicidal ideation. There seems to be a pattern to my days that has emerged over the past few days. The pattern being that I hang … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, bats, Bob Evans, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cocaine, dogs, Dr Carolyn King, drugs, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, fear of talking on the phone, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, self harm, self hatred, self injury, sister, Substance abuse, suicidal ideation, Thought
7 Comments
My Shortest Post Ever
This will be my shortest post ever. I wasnt even planning on posting today, but then my mom just said something that I feel the need to vent over, but well get to that in a minute. Since I am … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Mother Issues, personality disorders, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged anxiety, Ativan, benzdiazepine withdrawal, benzodiazepines, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Diazepam, Family, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, mother issues, Psychological abuse, Valium
9 Comments
Part 3 – The Aftermath, Where I am Now
A continuation from Part 2 – The Appointment and the Aftermath So Far Toast came home while I was still on the computer, checking email, reading blog subscriptions… I just pretty much ignored him. He was cutting out business cards, … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Side Effects of Ativan, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, Antipsychotic, anxiety, appointment, Ativan, Ativan withdrawal, Benzodiazepine, benzodiazepine dependence, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Dr Carolyn King, fear of abandonment, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, obsession, psychiatrist, sister, withdrawal
9 Comments
Part 2 – The Appointment and the Aftermath So Far
Warning : Post may be triggering for some individuals. Contains mention of self harm and suicidal ideation. A continuation from Part 1 – Last Night and This Morning Leading up to My Appointment Now from this point on, my memory … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan tolerance, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, depression, Disorders, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, healthy coping mechanisms, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, panic, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, rage, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Singing, sister, social anxiety, Subway, suicidal ideation, suicide, therapy, withdrawal
7 Comments
Part 1 – Last Night, and This Morning Leading up to My Appointment
I am going to apologize for this post in advance, as I am not exactly in a rational frame of mind at the moment. I will try to depict the events of last night and today as accurately as I … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, Family, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, Monk, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, self harm, sister, social anxiety, waiting room
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The Randomness in my Head
I would like to try and make this a quick post (I know Im not good at that, so lets see how I do), because I would like to try to get something done today (I am again stressing and … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Dreams, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, anxiety, Ativan, best friends, borderline personality disorder, BPD, childhood friendships, depression, Disorders, distortions, Dr Carolyn King, Dr. c, dreams, emotionally unstable, exhaustion, Facebook, faulty coping mechanisms, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, panic attack, phobia, phobia of vomiting, reality, sex, sex dreams, sexual frustration
8 Comments
