Monthly Archives: February 2012

Im Still Empty

Posted on February 29, 2012 by

“Ive come to the realization that I need to stop trying so damn hard, but at the same time, I need to try a hell of a lot harder.” – Unfortunately right now, I dont feel like trying at all. … Continue reading →

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Update

Posted on February 28, 2012 by

Im still feeling really depressed, I dont think thats going anywhere soon (I think the exhaustion is playing a large part in it).  And I am still struggling with the issues that I “vented” about earlier but after talking to … Continue reading →

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No one care about my pain, or the effect of depression – I dont care

Posted on February 28, 2012 by

Last night Toast read my posts from yesterday, and he had nothing to say.  I just wanted him to care, maybe validate my feelings.  Nothing.  Dexter left the room because I was upset, and he hates it when Im upset.  … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder | Tagged , , , , , | 19 Comments

I want to give the f*ck up

Posted on February 28, 2012 by

Ive spent most of the evening feeling sick, feeling panicky, feeling like I just want to give the fuck up and die.  I do not want to live in this land of fear anymore.  Ive spent all night acutely aware … Continue reading →

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F*ck My Life

Posted on February 27, 2012 by

So, this morning we had an interview with the local SSA office.  They needed to go over all of my info (income, expenses…), make sure what they have is correct, and then decide how much money I will receive and … Continue reading →

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30 Days of Truth: Day 24

Posted on February 26, 2012 by

Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, explain why you chose all the songs http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/ Im going to break the rules a little here, and make up my own.  Im not making a playlist for someone else, its for me, … Continue reading →

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I Want To Be The One To Save You

Posted on February 25, 2012 by

I want to be the one to save you beautiful child bright light hidden under a darkness a darkness that I know so well in you I see myself in you I see my hell and I just want to … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, poetry, prose | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

30 Days of Truth: Day 23

Posted on February 24, 2012 by

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life http://hope.gr/30-days-of-truth/ Again, for me, this comes back to regret.  I have a hard time saying that I wish I had done something because then I feel like Im saying … Continue reading →

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Hopeless

Posted on February 23, 2012 by

So much for my good day.  I am not feeling great right now.  A few things have just hit me like a fucking ton of bricks just now.  I had a conversation with a friend whos having a really hard … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Anxious Motivation

Posted on February 23, 2012 by

Pretty much every night for the past, I dont know, week or so, my anxiety shoots through the fucking roof, and I sit here on the verge of a panic attack over nothing really.  Monday night, watching The Voice had … Continue reading →

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