Category Archives: Dreams

The Randomness in my Head

Posted on August 23, 2011 by gypsy116

I would like to try and make this a quick post (I know Im not good at that, so lets see how I do), because I would like to try to get something done today (I am again stressing and … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Dreams, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, anxiety, Ativan, best friends, borderline personality disorder, BPD, childhood friendships, depression, Disorders, distortions, Dr Carolyn King, Dr. c, dreams, emotionally unstable, exhaustion, Facebook, faulty coping mechanisms, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, panic attack, phobia, phobia of vomiting, reality, sex, sex dreams, sexual frustration | 8 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 2

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 12ths post. From this point on, we have been going back and forth between periods of time where we were both committed to working on our relationship, and periods that we just basically hated each other. … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, Tattoos, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, anger, anxiety, anxoius, bisexual, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, denial, depressed, depression, dishonesty, Disorders, emotional abuse, emotionally unstable, exotic dancer, Family, financial, friends with benfits, gentleman, hate, lying, mental health, mental illness, money, Monogamy, mood, open relationship, relationships, self esteem, sex, sexual monogamy, slut, Strip club, stripper, tattoo artist, trust issues, unconventional beliefs, verbal abuse, whore | 7 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 1

Posted on July 12, 2011 by gypsy116

Ive experienced a slight downturn in mood, since I posted yesterday. Im feeling somewhat depressed and hopeless again, on the verge of tears most of the day. Last night there was a great deal of agitation (feeling like I wanted … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, sex, society, Uncategorized | Tagged acid trip, addiction, agitation, alone, anger, anguish, anxiety, anxoius, artitst, birthday, borderline personality disorder, Borderline supporter, Borderline wife, BPD, buying a house, change, control, cry myself to sleep, denial, depressed, Disorders, drivers training, emotionally unstable, empty, exotic dancer, fall in love, Family, financial, financial stress, Health, High school, high school sweethearts, irritable, jaded, job stress, learning to trust, lies, Lorazepam, love, LSD, marijuana, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, money, mood, obsessive, overwhelmed, painting, panic, panic attack, paranioa, parents, Paws With A Cause, porn, porn addiction, poverty, promise of change, protector, rage, real estate agents, relation, relationships, savior, self esteem, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, shift in mood, sister, social anxiety, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, teen sex, trust, X-Files, young marriage | 8 Comments

Anxious Positivity

Posted on July 11, 2011 by gypsy116

Last night while we were watching Bones, as I had anticipated, I started to feel the anxiety growing, and leading to extreme agitation. I started having a hard time concentrating (I hate that, every once in awhile I have to … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, sex, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dreams, drug abuse, emotionally unstable, emotions, exhaustion, fear, Health, hospitalization, husband, Insomnia, irrational fear, irrational thought, Lorazepam, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, phobia, phobia of vomiting, psychotherapy, rational thought, Rebecca Royston, relationship, sex, sick, Sleep, social anxiety, Substance abuse, tattoo, tattoo artist, therapy, Thought, thoughts, Worry | 5 Comments

Fun with DBT, People I Love, Psychic Dreams, and More…

Posted on June 16, 2011 by gypsy116

Holy shit, I have a ton of stuff I want to talk about. I could literally talk for hours, but thats not going to happen. I feel like shit. I am extremely exhausted, my body has been put through the … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Religion, Science, sex, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Belief, believe, bizarre dreams, borderline personality disorder, BPD, connected, control, conversationalist, cottage, crazy, creepy, dancer, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Deb Spoors, delirious, delirium, depressed, desperation, Dialectical behavior therapy, discrimination, discrimination against homosexuals, Disorders, dreams, eerie, emotinal conn, emotionally unstable, empty, Energy, exhaustion, Facebook, Family, fear, fear of change, hard time concentrating, Health, hope, hopeless, in love, Insomnia, Lorazepam, love, medication, memory issues, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, negative, obsess, obsessive thoughts, optimistic, overstimulated, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, positivity, psychic conncetions, psychic dreams, psychotherapy, religion, sex, sexual connection, sick, sister, Sleep, small talk, social anxiety, society, stress, stripper, suicide, terrified, therapist, therapy, vacation, wardrobe malfunction, withdrawn, Worry | 7 Comments

I Hate Ativan

Posted on June 11, 2011 by gypsy116

I really, really do hate Atvian. Thank you to everyone that told me, oh dont worry about it, its great, or itll be fine, no its not. I feel like Ive been awake for 6 months straight. I have no … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized | Tagged 2 year birthday party, addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, bawling, borderline personality disorder, BPD, brain fog, cant think straight, cognitive behavioral therapy, control, crying, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, DBT group, Deb Spoors, depressed, depression, Dialectical behavior therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Disorders, dream like state, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, Family, feels like Im underwater, financial, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Health, I ruin everything, irritabili, Lorazepam, loss of corr, medication, memory loss, mental health, mental illness, money, nausea, niece, overwhelmed, poverty, psychotherapy, self hate, self hatred, sex, side effects of Ativan, sister, social anxiety, therapist appointment, unsteadiness | 11 Comments

Positivity, Panic, Cocaine, and women: The Chaos Inside My Mind

Posted on May 7, 2011 by gypsy116

Its warm today, like actually warm. I dont know what the temperature is but I have my windows open, and I did not need to wear a sweatshirt to take my dogs out. This puts me in such a better … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dreams, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged acceptance-seeking behavior, addiction, anger, annoying, anxiety, anxoius, attraction, bisexual, Bisexuality, blow, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, cocaine, coke, depressed, depression, Disorders, dizzy, drug abuse, drug use, drugs, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, feel like I cant breathe, friends, gay, girl friend, girlfriend, Health, heightened state of anxiety, hope, irritable, labels, lesbian, Mental disorder, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, mood, Mothers Day, obsessive, obsessive thoughts, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, panicmonster.com, Pansexuality, positivity, rules, sex, sexual identity, Sexual orientation, sexuality, sick, sister, social anxiety, straight, struggle with sexuality, suicide, uncomfortable, warm weather, Worry | 4 Comments

Wasted

Posted on May 6, 2011 by gypsy116

No real improvement in mood thus far. I again spent most of the day with my sister, but today was hectic. Im feeling drained. My sister talked me into coming over to her place for awhile. She has her friends … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dreams, general life, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, poetry, prose, reality, relationships, sex, Songs, Uncategorized | Tagged abandonment, alone, anxiety, anxoius, awake, bizarre dreams, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cold, cruel, cry, depressed, depression, Disorders, drained, Dream, Dream Journals, Dream Sharing, dream state, emotionally unstable, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, Family, filthy sex, furious, Interpretation, lonliness, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, mood, my lifes been wasted, numb, outcasts of society, overwhelmed, poem, poetry, prose, Psychology, rage, realistic dreams, self destruction, sex, sex dreams, sick, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, song, soul, Stabbing Westward, tired, trapped, vivid dreams, Wasted | Leave a comment

You Will Not Win

Posted on May 5, 2011 by gypsy116

I have kept myself busy today, and as hoped, it helped to lift my mood some. I spent all day with my sister and my niece. It is impossible not to smile when you are spending time with an adorable … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dreams, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, Belief, body, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, crazy, delusional, depressed, depression, despair, detachment, Disorders, dissociation, Dream, emotionally unstable, emptiness, empty, evil, Family, fate, Health, hopeless, Insomnia, losing my grip on reality, mental health, mental illness, monster, mood, nightmare, sister, Sleep, suicide, Thought, thoughts, United States of Tara, unreal, Wal-Mart, Walmart | 2 Comments

Suicidal Dreams

Posted on April 9, 2011 by gypsy116

I had a nightmare last night, or this morning actually, that was so extremely real and freaky that I feel the need to share it. When I woke up Toast asked me if I was ok, and said that I … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, community mental health, Dreams, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged 911, anger, anxoius, attempted suicide, bizarre dreams, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cant breathe, community mental health services, dangerous, death, depressed, depression, determination, Dexter, Disorders, dog, Dream, emotional duress, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, freaking out, hallucinations, Health, heart pounding, hyperventilating, insensitive, Insomnia, knives, Major depressive disorder, mental health, mental illness, Network 180, nightmare, overdose, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, Pit Bull, police, rage, scared, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, self-preservation instinct, shaking, Sleep, suicide, tense jaw, tight chest, twitchy muscles, upset | 6 Comments

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