Category Archives: Energy

Maladjusted People of Good Will

Posted on July 3, 2011 by gypsy116

I am currently experiencing a lot anxiety around doing this post. I know that once I get going it will more than likely dissipate (posting in general is soothing to me, it helps to calm and focus my mind), but … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, Depression, eating disorders, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Suicide, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, American Psychiatic Association, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Ativan overdose, binging, black eyeliner, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, burden, chaos, closed minds, cocaine, comfort zone, community mental health services, communtiy mental health, communtiy mental health system, compulsive overeating, control, counting calories, culture, delirium, depressed, depression, discrimination, Disorders, drug abuse, drugs, eating disorders, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, emotions, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, Family, fear, fear of abandonment, fear of change, fear of losing those I love, financial, Forest View Hospital, free minds, frustration, great minds, Health, hypoglycemia, impulsive sex, inner experience, Insomnia, inspiration, Lorazepam, loss of control, Martin Luther King Jr, mass reality, Medicaid, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, mood, Netflix, Network 180, obsess, organic food, ostricized, overdose, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, Payless, Personality disorder, personality disorders, pisssed off, poverty, pressure, psychiatric hospital, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, punished, puppies and kittens, pushy sales man, rage, reality, realization, recovery, reflective, religious bigotry, segregation, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, semi positivity, sex, sick, sing, Singing, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, society, stress, Substance abuse, suffering, suicide, suicide attempt, therapy, thoughts, uncomfortable, war going on inside myself, weight gain, Worry | 9 Comments

Fun with DBT, People I Love, Psychic Dreams, and More…

Posted on June 16, 2011 by gypsy116

Holy shit, I have a ton of stuff I want to talk about. I could literally talk for hours, but thats not going to happen. I feel like shit. I am extremely exhausted, my body has been put through the … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Religion, Science, sex, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Belief, believe, bizarre dreams, borderline personality disorder, BPD, connected, control, conversationalist, cottage, crazy, creepy, dancer, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Deb Spoors, delirious, delirium, depressed, desperation, Dialectical behavior therapy, discrimination, discrimination against homosexuals, Disorders, dreams, eerie, emotinal conn, emotionally unstable, empty, Energy, exhaustion, Facebook, Family, fear, fear of change, hard time concentrating, Health, hope, hopeless, in love, Insomnia, Lorazepam, love, medication, memory issues, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, negative, obsess, obsessive thoughts, optimistic, overstimulated, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, positivity, psychic conncetions, psychic dreams, psychotherapy, religion, sex, sexual connection, sick, sister, Sleep, small talk, social anxiety, society, stress, stripper, suicide, terrified, therapist, therapy, vacation, wardrobe malfunction, withdrawn, Worry | 7 Comments

Enter Delirium

Posted on June 13, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may have a triggering affect on some individuals, contains suicidal ideation and intent, and reference to substance abuse, rape, and impulsive sex. I had a massive meltdown last night. I must admit that I could see it … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, alone, ambivilance, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Bathroom, bawling, bawling hysterically, benzodiazepines, borderline personality disorder, BPD, broken, cocaine, cold, confusion, control, crazy chick, crying, deep sadness, delirium, depressed, depression, Dexter, Disorders, dog, Dr Carolyn King, drugs, emotional trigger, emotionally unstable, empty, everyone is alone, exhaustion, Family, fuck me, happy, Health, hurt me, I dont care anymore, I want drugs, I want to die, Im not capable, impulsive sex, Insomnia, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, irritation, kill me, lies, Lorazepam, love, make it all go away, make me feel something, medication, meltdown, memory, memory problems, mental health, mental illness, money, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, Pit Bull, poverty, promises, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, rage, Rape, rape me, razor blade, reality, recovery, recovery from BPD, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, side effects, side effects of Ativan, sister, Sleep, sobbing, social anxiety, strug out, strung out, Substance abuse, suffer, suicidal ideation, suicidal intent, suicide, suicide plan, suicide threats, tattoos, The Real L Word, therapy, were not capable, Whitney Mixter, withdrawn | 7 Comments

Life, or Perhaps Just a Dream

Posted on June 12, 2011 by gypsy116

Im living life in a state of a dream. My memories are so vague that I cant be entirely sure they really happened or if I may have simply dreamed them. Even in the moment I can not tell if … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, anger, anti-psychotics, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, benzodiazepines, birthday party, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cant tell the difference between dream and reality, cant tell the difference between sleeping and awake, control, depressed, depression, Disorders, dog, Dream, dream state, drugged state, DVD, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, Family, frustration, Health, I feel sick, infuriated, Lorazepam, medication, memorey, mental health, mental illness, Netflix, overwhelmed, pit bull puppy, psychotherapy, rage, reality, side effects, side effects of Ativan, sister, social anxiety, state of dream, therapy, this is no way to live, vague memories | 3 Comments

Still in a Fog

Posted on May 21, 2011 by gypsy116

I havent seemed to have any issues with my blood sugar today, but I am still experiencing major brain fog. Im exhausted, and I just cant seem to think straight, so today will be another brief post (not like me … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, Energy, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, blood sugar, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Brain, brain fog, Cognitive dysfunction, control, dead inside, depressed, depression, deviantArt, Disorders, dopamine junkie, emotionally unstable, empty, focus, Health, high humidity, hollow, inability to breathe, Insomnia, irritable, lack of focus, lack of oxygen, lact of trust, mental health, mental illness, rage, resolution, Sleep, Supernatural, trust, United States of Tara | 4 Comments

No Immunity

Posted on May 20, 2011 by gypsy116

I would like to start off by apologizing for this post in advance. It will be brief and probably not all that interesting, so, yeah, sorry about that. Im not sure what the hell is going on with me. My … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, Energy, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, reality, sex, Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, anxoius, blood sugar, borderline personality disorder, BPD, brain fog, Chronic fatigue syndrome, depressed, depression, Disorders, drugged state, emotionally unstable, empty, Health, Immune system, immunity, impure, Insomnia, mental health, mental illness, panic, poem, poetry, prose, sex, sexual frustration, Sleep, weak | 6 Comments

Toast and Gypsy

Posted on May 18, 2011 by gypsy116

I was again planning on writing the post about my suicide attempt today, but my anxiety is so high, I really cant think straight. I hate that this happens. Every time I start to feel at all positive, and start … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, eating disorders, Energy, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, relationships, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, anorexia, Anorexia nervosa, anxiety, anxoius, blood sugar, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, change, deatj, demons, depressed, depression, destuction, Disorders, dizzy, Emotion, emotionally unstable, Family, fate, fear, hate, Health, honesty, hypoglycemic, Insomnia, lies, love, low blood sugar, marijuana, mental health, mental illness, neurotic, open, overwhelmed, pain, panic, panic attack, passed out, poem, poetry, positive, pot, procrastination, recovery, secret, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, soul, struggling to breathe, suicide, torture, weed | 6 Comments

The Past Few Days – Part 2

Posted on May 12, 2011 by gypsy116

To continue where I left off yesterday, I was starting to have strong feelings of determination, and the desire to change. My mood however, continued to be quite unstable for most of the day (Tuesday). We had a vet appointment … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Energy, general life, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, Pit Bull, reality, relationships, society, Uncategorized, Vetinary Medicine | Tagged agitation, alternatives to psychiatry, anti inflammatory, anxiety, anxoius, arguement, beliefs, borderline personality disorder, BPD, crippling anxiety, Deb Spoors, depressed, depression, desire to change, determination, Dexter, Disorders, do or die, dog, Dr. Ditanto, emotionally unstable, Energy, Family, Health, health care, holistic, Holistic Veterinary Options, holistic veterinatian, homeopathy, immune system issues, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, misery, nervousness, pain, panic, panic attack, paralyzing fear, Paws With A Cause, physical exam, Pit Bull, positivity, psychotrophic drugs, sex, sexual frustration, side affects, Sleep, social anxiety, strength, stress, suicide, tattoo artist, The Biggest Loser, therapy, warm weather, weight gain, weight loss, workout, worthless | 9 Comments

Hesitate

Posted on May 9, 2011 by gypsy116

My mood continues to be extremely unstable. I am quite literally all over the place. Yesterday, I finished reading the BPD blog I mentioned the other day, (http://panicmonster.com/), and if you happen to read this dear, your story is very … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, Energy, general life, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, poetry, prose, reality, relationships, sex, Songs, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged abandonment, addiction, alive, alternative therapy, alternatives to psychiatry, anger, anxiety, anxoius, avoidance, blow, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, change, cocaine, conflicting emotions, confliction, control, crying, depressed, depression, depressive state, despair, desperation, Disorders, dogs, driven, drugs, emotional, emotional mess, emotionally unstable, emotions, empty, Family, fear, Feeling, fun, guilt, Health, Hesitate, infertility, Insomnia, Lyrics, medication, mental health, mental illness, mood, mood instability, Mothers Day, panic, panicmonster.com, paranioa, peaceful, physical intimacy, privacy, psychiatrist, psychtropic drugs, reading, recovery, scenic drive, sex, sexual frustration, sick, Sleep, Stone Sour, suicidal tendancies, suicide, suicide attempt, Toni Collette, TV, unhealthy, United States of Tara, video on demand, withdrawn, Wyoming Michigan | 10 Comments

Year Zero

Posted on May 1, 2011 by gypsy116

Im still not feeling well, although today is the 1st day Ive actually started to feel any improvement. Im still exhausted and just feel drained, so this post will be brief, with some related song lyrics to accompany it. Last … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Energy, general life, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, philosophy, poetry, prose, reality, Religion, society, Songs, Spitituality, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, after life, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ashes, borderline personality disorder, BPD, chosen ones, cold, control, conversations, damaging behaviors, darkness, depressed, depression, doubt, emotionally unstable, empty, end of the world, Faith, Family, fear, God, government, hard time breathing, hard time controlling thoughts, Health, hypocrisy in reliegion, illness, impulsive behaviors, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, negative feelings, Nine Inch Nails, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, poem, poetry, postive feelings, prayer, prose, reality, religion, restless, sick, society, Songs, spiritual contemplation, Spirituality, Trent Reznor, waves of panic, Year Zero | 4 Comments

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