Category Archives: general life

Gravity

Posted on July 25, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals. Content contains self harm, and suicidal ideation. When I posted Saturday night, after I had decided not to go to the show, I wasnt completely honest with you. Well, it wasnt … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Uncategorized | Tagged A Perfect Circle, addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Ativan overdose, binging, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, compulsive over eating, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depressed, depression, deviantArt, Dialectical behavir, dishonesty, Disorders, drowning, eating disorders, emotional withdrawal, emotionally unstable, empty, Feeling, Gravity A perfect Circle, honesty, Lorazepam, Lyrics, maynard James Keenan, medication, mental health, mental illness, motivation, Music, overwhelmed, panic, passion, Pet Smart, psychotherapy, Real L Word, Rebecca Royston, self harm, self hatred, self injury, self mutilation, sex, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, tension, therapy, Walgreens, Wicca | 17 Comments

Hate Myself, I Do

Posted on July 23, 2011 by gypsy116

Last night after reading yesterdays post, Toast asked me how I had made the leap from thinking about how much I love Dexter, to panic and doom and gloom. I told him it was because it made me think about … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, reality, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, art contests, bawling, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, concert, control, depressed, depression, Dexter, Disorders, dog, doom and gloom, emotionally unstable, empty, fear, heightened emotional state, I am dead inside, Insomnia, irrational fears, irrational thoughts, Lorazepam, love, mental health, mental illness, obsess, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, pissed off, Pit Bull, sadness, self hate, self hatred, show, sister, social anxiety, Thought | 6 Comments

How Long Before The Fall?

Posted on July 22, 2011 by gypsy116

I have been trying to keep myself busy, in order to stave off the underlying anxiety and hopelessness. For a couple of days it actually worked, , slowly but surely it has found a way to creep back in. Tuesday … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Music, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Pit Bull, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, analyze, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, birthday party, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, break down, change, concert, conscioiusness, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depressed, depression, Dexter, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dog, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, failure, Family, fear, Feeling, financial, giant puppy, Health, hopelessness, Insomnia, irritable, Lorazepam, love, medication, mental health, mental illness, Miniskirt, money, mood, motivated, negative mood, Netflix, nuetral mood, obsess, only get one life, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, panicky, paranioa, pig tails, Pit Bull, pony tail, positive mood, poverty, psychotherapy, recovery, scared, self hate, self hatred, show, sister, Sleep, Slumlord Radio, social anxiety, terrified, therapy, thinking, wasting life, weight gain, weight loss, workout | 3 Comments

Food, Control, Concerts, and Miniskirts

Posted on July 19, 2011 by gypsy116

Last night, I had a near “episode”, but I managed to not freak out. Progress? Hmm, perhaps, but I doubt it. I mentioned in a previous post that I have been experiencing a great deal of distress around the lack … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, reality, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, arguement, Arizona, band, binge, birthday party, borderline personality disorder, bowling, bowling alley, BPD, calories, change, Clothing, compulsive overeating, control, depressed, depression, Disorders, distress, Eating, eating disorders, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, fear, felt like crying, fighting, financial, food samps, guilt, Health, hungry, hypoglycemia, Lorazepam, marriage, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Miniskirts, money, Music, negative feelings, overwhelmed, pissed off, poverty, progress, promises, protection, rage, relationship, self hate, self hatred, show, sister, Television, weight gain, weight loss, workout | 5 Comments

Happy Birthday Toast

Posted on July 18, 2011 by gypsy116

Our family decided to go bowling yesterday to celebrate Toasts birthday (it was actually the 7th, but yesterday was the 1st day that everyone would be able to attend). We thought about going to the Detroit Zoo, but thought it … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Showtime shows, Side Effects of Ativan, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, birthday, Bones, borderline personality disorder, bowling, bowling alley, BPD, cake and ice cream, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depressed, depression, Detroit Zoo, Dialectical behavior therapy, diary cards, difficulty breathing, Disorders, dizziness, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, Family, feel like Im dying inside, grill, hard time focusing, Health, I am not fine, ignoring, Insomnia, Lorazepam, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, mood, nausea, nerves, nervous, nothing is fine, on the verge of tears, overwhelmed, panic, pissy mood, psychotherapy, rage, Real L Word, Rebecca Royston, relationship, repression of anxiety, short, sister, Sleep, snappy, social anxiety, swimming, The Big C, therapy, True Blood, wasted time, Weeds | 4 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 3

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 15ths post. Our house was going into foreclosure, and we only had couple of months left to stay in the house. We had decided that we were going to move into my grandmas house (she was … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, affair, alcohol, alcoholic, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, belonging, bikini bar, bisexual, bitter, blame, blow, borderline personality disorder, Borderline relationships, BPD, camper, cheating, cocaine, comfortable, communication, control, couch dances, crying myself to sleep, denial, depressed, depression, Dexter, Disorders, dog, drug abuse, drugs, dysfunctional relationship, emotional abuse, emotional pain, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, exotic dancer, Family, fighting, financial, Flesh For the Beast, foreclosure, friends, Grand Rapids, guilt, hate, Health, indiscretion, isolation, lie, love, low self esteem, lying, manipulation, marijuana, marriage, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, motor home, myspace, Ohio, open relationship, overwhelmed, Pain For Sale, panic, panic attack, pansexual, paranioa, Pit Bull, porn addiction, positive attitude, poverty, Psychological abuse, psychotherapy, rage, Recreational vehicle, relationships, resentment, seclusion, self esteem, separation, sex, sex on cocaine, sexual issues, smoking, social anxiety, stealing, Strip club, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, suicide attempt, table dances, tattoo artist, tattooing, therapy, three some, topless dancing, uncomfortable, unemotional sex, unemployment, unhealthy coping methods, unrecognizable to myself, unstable, verbal abuse, whore house, Winnebago | 8 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 2

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 12ths post. From this point on, we have been going back and forth between periods of time where we were both committed to working on our relationship, and periods that we just basically hated each other. … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, Tattoos, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, anger, anxiety, anxoius, bisexual, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, denial, depressed, depression, dishonesty, Disorders, emotional abuse, emotionally unstable, exotic dancer, Family, financial, friends with benfits, gentleman, hate, lying, mental health, mental illness, money, Monogamy, mood, open relationship, relationships, self esteem, sex, sexual monogamy, slut, Strip club, stripper, tattoo artist, trust issues, unconventional beliefs, verbal abuse, whore | 7 Comments

Confliction and Time Constraints

Posted on July 14, 2011 by gypsy116

I was not going to post today because I did not have time, but Im not doing very well and I feel like I need to post. I feel like I need to get some of the stuff inside of … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Pit Bull, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Television programs, Vetinary Medicine | Tagged agitation, ambivalence, anger, animal emergency hospital, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Cat, complications, confliction, control, dead inside, depressed, depression, desire to change, Dexter, Disorders, distress, dog, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, fear, Health, hydrogen peroxide, inability to handle stress, irritabiltiy, Kleenex, lack of control, lack of time, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, pictures, pissed off, Pit Bull, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, rage, sister, So You Think You Can Dance, stress, tension, terrified, Thought, time, time constraints, urinary tract infection, Worry | 4 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 1

Posted on July 12, 2011 by gypsy116

Ive experienced a slight downturn in mood, since I posted yesterday. Im feeling somewhat depressed and hopeless again, on the verge of tears most of the day. Last night there was a great deal of agitation (feeling like I wanted … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, sex, society, Uncategorized | Tagged acid trip, addiction, agitation, alone, anger, anguish, anxiety, anxoius, artitst, birthday, borderline personality disorder, Borderline supporter, Borderline wife, BPD, buying a house, change, control, cry myself to sleep, denial, depressed, Disorders, drivers training, emotionally unstable, empty, exotic dancer, fall in love, Family, financial, financial stress, Health, High school, high school sweethearts, irritable, jaded, job stress, learning to trust, lies, Lorazepam, love, LSD, marijuana, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, money, mood, obsessive, overwhelmed, painting, panic, panic attack, paranioa, parents, Paws With A Cause, porn, porn addiction, poverty, promise of change, protector, rage, real estate agents, relation, relationships, savior, self esteem, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, shift in mood, sister, social anxiety, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, teen sex, trust, X-Files, young marriage | 8 Comments

Anxious Positivity

Posted on July 11, 2011 by gypsy116

Last night while we were watching Bones, as I had anticipated, I started to feel the anxiety growing, and leading to extreme agitation. I started having a hard time concentrating (I hate that, every once in awhile I have to … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, sex, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dreams, drug abuse, emotionally unstable, emotions, exhaustion, fear, Health, hospitalization, husband, Insomnia, irrational fear, irrational thought, Lorazepam, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, phobia, phobia of vomiting, psychotherapy, rational thought, Rebecca Royston, relationship, sex, sick, Sleep, social anxiety, Substance abuse, tattoo, tattoo artist, therapy, Thought, thoughts, Worry | 5 Comments

Search for:
Email Subscription

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 358 other followers
Pages
Recent Posts
Archives
dates of posts
May 2012

S M T W T F S

« Apr

1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 10 11 12

13 14 15 16 17 18 19

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

27 28 29 30 31
Blog Stats
- 71,655 hits
Blogroll
Categories
Tags
addiction agitation anger anxiety anxoius Ativan borderline personality disorder BPD control DBT Centers of Michigan depressed depression Dialectical behavior therapy Disorders emotionally unstable empty exhaustion Family Health Insomnia Lorazepam medication mental health mental illness Michigan money Music overwhelmed panic panic attack paranioa poverty psychotherapy rage Rebecca Royston self harm self injury self mutilation sex sister Sleep social anxiety suicide therapy Thought
Meta
Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land

May 2012
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
« Apr
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

Category Archives: general life

Email Subscription

Pages

Recent Posts

Archives

dates of posts

Blog Stats

Blogroll

Categories

Tags

Meta

Follow “Through my eyes: Adventures in Borderline land”