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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Category Archives: Health
Exhaustion, Shopping and Hot Fudge
Friday, I woke to depression and severe agitation. Toast came home and took the dogs out shortly after I got up, and he was telling about what he had done so far (who he had called and what he had … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, Health, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, agoraphobia, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, compulsive over eating, dehydration, depression, dizzy, eating disorders, exhaustion, Health, hypoglycemia, Lorazepam, Major depressive disorder, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, shopping, sister, slurring speach, social anxiety, Supernatural, weak
6 Comments
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 4
A continuation from Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 3 Jen called Toast to ask what had happened (sure that I had flipped out). It must have been at the same time that Toast was on his way … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged abuse of power, addiction, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, borderline personality disorder, BPD, community mental health, control, Dr Carolyn King, Family, Health, inpatient facility, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, narcissistic personality disorder, Network 180, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, Pine Rest, police, psychiatric hospital, psychiatrist, Psychiatry, psychotherapy, sister
13 Comments
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 3
A Continuation from Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 2 This post (and the next) will be the hardest of the 4 for me to write. I will be writing this from the second hand accounts that I … Continue reading
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 2
A continuation from Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 1 Toast and I sat outside for what felt like for fucking ever. I was extremely anxious and agitated, my legs bouncing all over the place, rocking back and … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Health, mental health, mental illness, OCD, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, cop car, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, Family, fear of talking on the phone, Fuck, Health, Intergrated Psychiatric Medicine, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, police, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, rage, Rebecca Royston, repetive thoughts, Satan, sister
8 Comments
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 1
Oh my god, you guys are literally not going to believe what happened today, but I suppose that I should start at the beginning. 1st, I dont know if I was just extremely exhausted (as in even more extremely exhausted … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan tolerance, Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, borderline personality disorder, BPD, breathe right strips, control, DBT Centers of Michigan, detox, Dr Carolyn King, Family, Insomnia, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, Lorazepam, magnesium, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Molly Raaymakers, Neurotherapy Associates of West Michigan, overwhelmed, Pine Rest, psychotherapy, Rebecca Royston, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, Turning Point, West Michigan
9 Comments
Infertility: The Loss of Those Who Never Existed
I had a rough night last night. It is so bizarre to me (and I really do hate it), that I can be having strong emotions regarding a bunch of different things, and they can all come together, and combine … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Health, Infertility, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, chaos, control, DBT, dead inside, Dialectical behavior therapy, Dr Carolyn King, Effexor, emotionally unstable, empty, fear of talking on the phone, financial, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, in vitro fertilization, irritated, Jose, Joseph Santoro P.H.D., Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, miracles, nfertility, overwhelmed, panic attack, Paypal, psychotherapy, sadness, SLS Health, stress, The Angry H, withdrawal, Worry
6 Comments
Gravity
Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals. Content contains self harm, and suicidal ideation. When I posted Saturday night, after I had decided not to go to the show, I wasnt completely honest with you. Well, it wasnt … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Uncategorized
Tagged A Perfect Circle, addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Ativan overdose, binging, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, compulsive over eating, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depressed, depression, deviantArt, Dialectical behavir, dishonesty, Disorders, drowning, eating disorders, emotional withdrawal, emotionally unstable, empty, Feeling, Gravity A perfect Circle, honesty, Lorazepam, Lyrics, maynard James Keenan, medication, mental health, mental illness, motivation, Music, overwhelmed, panic, passion, Pet Smart, psychotherapy, Real L Word, Rebecca Royston, self harm, self hatred, self injury, self mutilation, sex, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, tension, therapy, Walgreens, Wicca
17 Comments
Hate Myself, I Do
Last night after reading yesterdays post, Toast asked me how I had made the leap from thinking about how much I love Dexter, to panic and doom and gloom. I told him it was because it made me think about … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, reality, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, art contests, bawling, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, concert, control, depressed, depression, Dexter, Disorders, dog, doom and gloom, emotionally unstable, empty, fear, heightened emotional state, I am dead inside, Insomnia, irrational fears, irrational thoughts, Lorazepam, love, mental health, mental illness, obsess, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, pissed off, Pit Bull, sadness, self hate, self hatred, show, sister, social anxiety, Thought
6 Comments
How Long Before The Fall?
I have been trying to keep myself busy, in order to stave off the underlying anxiety and hopelessness. For a couple of days it actually worked, , slowly but surely it has found a way to creep back in. Tuesday … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Music, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Pit Bull, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Television programs, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, analyze, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, birthday party, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, break down, change, concert, conscioiusness, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depressed, depression, Dexter, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dog, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, failure, Family, fear, Feeling, financial, giant puppy, Health, hopelessness, Insomnia, irritable, Lorazepam, love, medication, mental health, mental illness, Miniskirt, money, mood, motivated, negative mood, Netflix, nuetral mood, obsess, only get one life, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, panicky, paranioa, pig tails, Pit Bull, pony tail, positive mood, poverty, psychotherapy, recovery, scared, self hate, self hatred, show, sister, Sleep, Slumlord Radio, social anxiety, terrified, therapy, thinking, wasting life, weight gain, weight loss, workout
3 Comments
