Category Archives: Obsession

Thats All Life Really is, You Know? Pure Hell

Posted on September 24, 2011 by

For a moment it felt like maybe the deep depression that I have been feeling may have lifted slightly.  That maybe, I was headed into a little more of a positive phase, but by Thursday night it had become abundantly … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, Infertility, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

What do I Recover?

Posted on September 14, 2011 by

“…the whole concept of “recovery” brings up some painful questions.  What do I recover?  With drug addiction, you hear that you can recover and reclaim your former self, the person you were before you started using.  With other psychiatric illnesses, … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, personality disorders, philosophy, reality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

From Bad to Worse to Being Sedated and Subdued by Hospital Security – Part 1

Posted on September 11, 2011 by

Warning : The following 4 part post may be triggering for some individuals, content contains suicidal ideation and self harm.  I also ask that there be no judgement of me.  I am letting you take a look inside of my … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Saturday Night – Sexual Frustration, Goth Chicks, and the Hope of Cocaine

Posted on September 6, 2011 by

A shit ton of stuff has happened since I last posted, so I am feeling a bit (ok, a lot) overwhelmed about attempting to post right now.  Because I am me, and I cant just skip over some of what … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, personality disorders, reality, sex, Sexual orientation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Reality is Only What You Perceive it to be

Posted on September 3, 2011 by

Warning:  Post may be triggering for some individuals. I woke up around 7:30 this morning in the middle of a panic attack (I absolutely hate when this happens, but at least its been a while).  I couldnt stop thinking about … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Infertility, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Velocity vs. Viscosity

Posted on August 28, 2011 by

I do have much to post about today, but I do not have time so it will have to wait until tomorrow.  Ive decided to post something that I read earlier instead (a chapter from, Girl, Interrupted, by Susanna Kaysen).  … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

All of this Over a F*cking Brownie?

Posted on August 19, 2011 by

I dont even want to write this post because it is so completely and utterly ridiculous, but it is my life, it is what I do.  Another case of a bunch of things coming together and combining just right, and … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, eating disorders, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, personality disorders, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Ignorance and Disrespect

Posted on August 4, 2011 by

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals.  Content contains extreme ignorance and disrespect. Before I posted just a minute ago, I had went through my email to respond to comments.  I received a comment from DemonTeddy@msn.com, on my … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, personality disorders, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

More on Mom Through Poetry

Posted on August 4, 2011 by

Last night, after Toast read yesterdays post, he started telling me how hes so proud of me.  Which I of course didnt understand, what did I do that would make him proud?  Why would anyone ever be proud of me?  … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Mother Issues, Obsession, personality disorders, poetry, prose, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Are Emotional Abuse and Neglect Trauma?

Posted on August 3, 2011 by

Yes they are. I am living, breathing proof that they are.  I do not care about any arguments to the contrary, no one will ever be able to convince me that they are not.  They are, period, point blank. Why … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, eating disorders, mental health, mental illness, Mother Issues, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments