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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Category Archives: personality disorders
I Am Not Me Anymore, I Do Not Exist
After I posted and went through my email last night, I got off the computer and just laid in bed. It was after 8pm, so I knew that I would have to text Becky (DBT Centers of Michigan) as soon … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, mental health, mental illness, Movies, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Bridesmaids movie, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depression, Dialectical behavior therapy, empty, failure, fear of talking on the phone, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, Rebecca Royston, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, tattoo artist
8 Comments
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 4
A continuation from Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 3 Jen called Toast to ask what had happened (sure that I had flipped out). It must have been at the same time that Toast was on his way … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged abuse of power, addiction, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, borderline personality disorder, BPD, community mental health, control, Dr Carolyn King, Family, Health, inpatient facility, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, narcissistic personality disorder, Network 180, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, Pine Rest, police, psychiatric hospital, psychiatrist, Psychiatry, psychotherapy, sister
13 Comments
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 3
A Continuation from Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 2 This post (and the next) will be the hardest of the 4 for me to write. I will be writing this from the second hand accounts that I … Continue reading
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 2
A continuation from Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 1 Toast and I sat outside for what felt like for fucking ever. I was extremely anxious and agitated, my legs bouncing all over the place, rocking back and … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Health, mental health, mental illness, OCD, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, cop car, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, Family, fear of talking on the phone, Fuck, Health, Intergrated Psychiatric Medicine, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, police, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, rage, Rebecca Royston, repetive thoughts, Satan, sister
8 Comments
Dr King is Absolutely F*cking Psychotic – Part 1
Oh my god, you guys are literally not going to believe what happened today, but I suppose that I should start at the beginning. 1st, I dont know if I was just extremely exhausted (as in even more extremely exhausted … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan tolerance, Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome, borderline personality disorder, BPD, breathe right strips, control, DBT Centers of Michigan, detox, Dr Carolyn King, Family, Insomnia, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, Lorazepam, magnesium, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Molly Raaymakers, Neurotherapy Associates of West Michigan, overwhelmed, Pine Rest, psychotherapy, Rebecca Royston, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, Turning Point, West Michigan
9 Comments
Tuesday – Neurofeedback
I had to get up at 11:30am, which I was not happy about (Im not usually up until 1 or 2pm). I was, of course, incredibly anxious the whole time I was getting ready and waiting to leave. At least … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, Neurofeedback, personality disorders, Science, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan withdrawal, benzodiazepine withdrawal, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, depression, Dr Carolyn King, Health, Holistic health, inflammation, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Molly Raaymakers, neurofeedback, Neurotherapy Associates of West Michigan, Rebecca Royston, West Michigan
3 Comments
Monday – 4 Makes a Crowd
Molly (Nuerotherapy Associates of West Michigan) called at around 12pm to change my neurofeedback appointment time from 2pm to 1pm on Tuesday. Our appointment with Becky (DBT Centers of Michigan) wasnt until 4pm, so I wasnt planning on getting up … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, benzodiazepine withdrawal, Big C, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Cente, depression, emotionally unstable, Family, invalidation, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Molly Raaymakers, Monk, Neurotherapy Associates of West Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, psychotherapy, rage, Rebecca Royston, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, validation, Weeds, West Michigan
3 Comments
Sunday – The Dreaded Text and Phone Call
I was going to post yesterday, after our appointment with Becky (DBT Centers of Michigan), but I was just entirely too drained. So now, again, I am left with way to much to post, and am quite overwhelmed. I think … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, Uncategorized
Tagged anger, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, depression, fear of talking on the phone, Film, Hesher, Just Peck, Keir Gilchrist, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, neurofeedback, overwhelmed, panic, psychotherapy, Rebecca Royston, self hatred, social anxiety, texting, United States of Tara
2 Comments
Depression Continues to Engulf Me
Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals. Content contains suicidal ideation and self harm. I am not doing well. The depression that I was feeling yesterday continued and continues to engulf me. I am completely unstable, my mood … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, mental health, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, binging, borderline personality disorder, BPD, compulsive overeating, cry, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, emotionally unstable, empty, fear, Kiera Van Gelder, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, psychotherapy, rage, Rebecca Royston, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, The Buddha and The Borderline
10 Comments
Thats All Life Really is, You Know? Pure Hell
For a moment it felt like maybe the deep depression that I have been feeling may have lifted slightly. That maybe, I was headed into a little more of a positive phase, but by Thursday night it had become abundantly … Continue reading →