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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Category Archives: prose
I Want To Be The One To Save You
I want to be the one to save you beautiful child bright light hidden under a darkness a darkness that I know so well in you I see myself in you I see my hell and I just want to … Continue reading
Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, poetry, prose
Tagged anxiety, borderline personality disorder, BPD, depression, empty, poem, poetry, prose, social anxiety
12 Comments
Facebook page, and Brief Update
Im still not feeling well, Im dizzy and I have a headache, and I am also feeling short on time. Jens not coming over today, so I should have time to get things done, but I am really far behind … Continue reading
Posted in Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, Uncategorized
Tagged Arts, beauty, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT, Dialectical behavior therapy, Facebook, identity, mental health, mental illness, poem, poetry, positivity, prose, Social Networking, starving artist, therapy, unstable identity
2 Comments
Music, OCD, and Pandora Radio
I decided to add a small dose (1/4mg) of Ativan between my 2nd and 3rd doses yesterday, and I didnt experience as much irritability and agitation last night (I did make it to bed by 2am again, by the way). … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, eating disorders, mental health, mental illness, Music, OCD, personality disorders, poetry, prose, reality, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, agitation, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan withdrawal, borderline personality disorder, BPD, calories, control, Disorders, emotionally unstable, invention, irritability, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, money, Music, neurotic, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, OCD, Pandora, Pandora Media, Pandora Radio, poem, poetry, prose, self hatred, side effects of Ativan, tattoo artist, weight gain, wieght loss
7 Comments
More on Mom Through Poetry
Last night, after Toast read yesterdays post, he started telling me how hes so proud of me. Which I of course didnt understand, what did I do that would make him proud? Why would anyone ever be proud of me? … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Mother Issues, Obsession, personality disorders, poetry, prose, relationships, Uncategorized
Tagged abuse, anger, anxiety, Belief, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, Disorders, emotional abuse, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, mental health, mental illness, Mother, mother issues, overwhelmed, pain, panic, poem, poetry, prose, Psychological abuse, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Thought
6 Comments
“Back From the Edge” – Borderline Personality Disorder
If you’ve never seen this video you should. It was created by the “Borderline Personality Disorder Resource Center at NewYork-Presbyterian.” It features a variety of patients, both male and female, with commentaries from the top professionals in the BPD field: Otto … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, anger, anxiety, anxoius, black void, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, darkness, death, death without death, depressed, depression, detachment, Disorders, empty, exhaustion, existence, Feeling, Health, hollow, hopelessness, hurt, identity, isolation, Jason Punko, lack of self-worth, life without life, meaning, mental health, mental illness, ontheborderlineblog, outcast, pain, Philosophy, poem, poetry, prose, purpose, stigma, suffering, unliving, unloved, value
11 Comments
No Immunity
I would like to start off by apologizing for this post in advance. It will be brief and probably not all that interesting, so, yeah, sorry about that. Im not sure what the hell is going on with me. My … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, Energy, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, reality, sex, Uncategorized
Tagged anxiety, anxoius, blood sugar, borderline personality disorder, BPD, brain fog, Chronic fatigue syndrome, depressed, depression, Disorders, drugged state, emotionally unstable, empty, Health, Immune system, immunity, impure, Insomnia, mental health, mental illness, panic, poem, poetry, prose, sex, sexual frustration, Sleep, weak
6 Comments
Toast and Gypsy
I was again planning on writing the post about my suicide attempt today, but my anxiety is so high, I really cant think straight. I hate that this happens. Every time I start to feel at all positive, and start … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, eating disorders, Energy, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, relationships, Suicide, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, anorexia, Anorexia nervosa, anxiety, anxoius, blood sugar, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, change, deatj, demons, depressed, depression, destuction, Disorders, dizzy, Emotion, emotionally unstable, Family, fate, fear, hate, Health, honesty, hypoglycemic, Insomnia, lies, love, low blood sugar, marijuana, mental health, mental illness, neurotic, open, overwhelmed, pain, panic, panic attack, passed out, poem, poetry, positive, pot, procrastination, recovery, secret, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, soul, struggling to breathe, suicide, torture, weed
6 Comments
Wasted
No real improvement in mood thus far. I again spent most of the day with my sister, but today was hectic. Im feeling drained. My sister talked me into coming over to her place for awhile. She has her friends … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dreams, general life, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, poetry, prose, reality, relationships, sex, Songs, Uncategorized
Tagged abandonment, alone, anxiety, anxoius, awake, bizarre dreams, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cold, cruel, cry, depressed, depression, Disorders, drained, Dream, Dream Journals, Dream Sharing, dream state, emotionally unstable, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, Family, filthy sex, furious, Interpretation, lonliness, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, mood, my lifes been wasted, numb, outcasts of society, overwhelmed, poem, poetry, prose, Psychology, rage, realistic dreams, self destruction, sex, sex dreams, sick, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, song, soul, Stabbing Westward, tired, trapped, vivid dreams, Wasted
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Please Just Walk Away
Its official. The flip in my brain has been switched, I have again returned to darkness (could it be switched back anytime soon, who knows, right now it does not feel like it). There had been some talk of progress, … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, poetry, prose, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, society, Spitituality, Suicide, Uncategorized
Tagged anger, anxiety, anxoius, art, beauty, beauty in sadness, Belief, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, choice, cold, control, Conversation, creativity, cruel, darkness, defeat, depressed, depression, desire, despair, determination, Disorders, emotionally unstable, empty, enough is enough, fake smiles, Family, guilt, Health, hollow words, hope, hopeless, hoplessness, I am nothing, lack of ambition, lies, love, mental health, mental illness, morals, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, poem, poetry, poison, progress, prose, pssibility, psychotherapy, recovery, relationship, repression, sadness, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sick, society, strong emotions, suicidal ideation, suicidal intent, suicide, suicide plan, tears, therapy, truth, workout, Worry
6 Comments
