Category Archives: relationships

Why Cant I Just Let Go?

Posted on October 18, 2011 by

This post is going to be about an issue (an “episode” really) that started Saturday night, and continued all the way through to Sunday night.  The issue is nothing new, its has to do with things that I am constantly … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

I am Worthless, Pointless, and Hopeless

Posted on October 11, 2011 by

Warning: This post may be triggering to some individuals.  Content contains self harm and suicidal ideation. We didnt get up until about 2:45pm on Sunday.  Toast got out of bed, and I could instantly tell that he was pissed, he … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

The Shadow That I Have Become

Posted on October 11, 2011 by

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals.  Content contains some mention of self harm, and suicidal ideation. Saturday morning, before Toast left for work, I did not kiss him, tell him I love him, or say goodbye to … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I Am Not Me Anymore, I Do Not Exist

Posted on September 25, 2011 by

After I posted and went through my email last night, I got off the computer and just laid in bed.  It was after 8pm, so I knew that I would have to text Becky (DBT Centers of Michigan) as soon … Continue reading →

Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, mental health, mental illness, Movies, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Thats All Life Really is, You Know? Pure Hell

Posted on September 24, 2011 by

For a moment it felt like maybe the deep depression that I have been feeling may have lifted slightly.  That maybe, I was headed into a little more of a positive phase, but by Thursday night it had become abundantly … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, Infertility, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Monday – 4 Makes a Crowd

Posted on September 20, 2011 by

Molly (Nuerotherapy Associates of West Michigan) called at around 12pm to change my neurofeedback appointment time from 2pm to 1pm on Tuesday.  Our appointment with Becky (DBT Centers of Michigan) wasnt until 4pm, so I wasnt planning on getting up … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Depression Continues to Engulf Me

Posted on September 18, 2011 by

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals.  Content contains suicidal ideation and self harm. I am not doing well.  The depression that I was feeling yesterday continued and continues to engulf me.  I am completely unstable, my mood … Continue reading →

Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, mental health, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

When in Torture, Pure Hell, and Suicide Seems Like the Only Way Out

Posted on September 16, 2011 by

“…This is my second encounter with the idea that our internal experience can be characterized by a defining emotion, not just “instability”.  As Marsha Linehan says, were like emotional burn victims (Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder).  Dr Zanarini ( … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Crazy, Stupid, Love a.k.a. I am Completely Unstable, and Dont Know What to do

Posted on September 13, 2011 by

So, yesterday Toast and I were supposed to have this great day (I shouldve known better.  Whenever I have high expectations, its pretty much inevitable that I will be disappointed).  My sister and Matt had gone to the theater to … Continue reading →

Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, Mother Issues, Movies, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

From Bad to Worse to Being Sedated and Subdued by Hospital Security – Part 4

Posted on September 12, 2011 by

Warning : The following 4 part post may be triggering for some individuals, content contains suicidal ideation and self harm.  I also ask that there be no judgement of me.  I am letting you take a look inside of my … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments