Category Archives: self injury

Hanging on the Edge of Sanity

Posted on October 2, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals. Content contains self harm and suicidal ideation. All day Thursday I felt completely drained, exhausted and overwhelmed. My head was all over the place and I was most definitely not doing … Continue reading →

Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, mental health, mental illness, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, depression, Dialectical behavior therapy, emotionally unstable, empty, inpatient programs for BPD, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Molly Raaymakers, Neurotherapy Associates of West Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, rage, Rebecca Royston, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, suicidal ideation | 3 Comments

Depression Continues to Engulf Me

Posted on September 18, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals. Content contains suicidal ideation and self harm. I am not doing well. The depression that I was feeling yesterday continued and continues to engulf me. I am completely unstable, my mood … Continue reading →

Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, mental health, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, binging, borderline personality disorder, BPD, compulsive overeating, cry, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, emotionally unstable, empty, fear, Kiera Van Gelder, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, psychotherapy, rage, Rebecca Royston, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, The Buddha and The Borderline | 10 Comments

From Bad to Worse to Being Sedated and Subdued by Hospital Security – Part 4

Posted on September 12, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning : The following 4 part post may be triggering for some individuals, content contains suicidal ideation and self harm. I also ask that there be no judgement of me. I am letting you take a look inside of my … Continue reading →

Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized | Tagged anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, cruel and unusual punishment, depression, doctors, Emergency room, emotionally unstable, empty, EMTs, exhaustion, Family, Forest View Hospital, hospital, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, misuse of power, nurses, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, phobia, phobia of vomiting, psychiatric hospital, rage, restraint, sedative, self harm, sister, subdued, suicidal ideation, Thought, Understanding | 17 Comments

From Bad to Worse to Being Sedated and Subdued by Hospital Security – Part 3

Posted on September 11, 2011 by gypsy116

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged addiction, ambulance, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan overdose, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cops, depression, Emergency room, emotionally unstable, empty, EMTs, Family, Forest View Hospital, Fuck, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, rage, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sister, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, suicide attempt, taken against my will, Thought | 6 Comments

From Bad to Worse to Being Sedated and Subdued by Hospital Security – Part 2

Posted on September 11, 2011 by gypsy116

Posted in Anxiety, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged abandonment issues, addiction, anxiety, Ativan, benzodiazepine withdrawal, borderline personality disorder, BPD, community mental health, depression, Diazepam, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, fear of abandonment, Integrated Ph, Lorazepam, medicall malpractice lawsuit, mental health, mental illness, Monk, Network 180, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sister, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, Thought, True Blood, Turning Point detox, Valium | 5 Comments

From Bad to Worse to Being Sedated and Subdued by Hospital Security – Part 1

Posted on September 11, 2011 by gypsy116

Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged abandonment issues, addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, depression, deviantArt, Disorders, dog, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, Family, fear of abandonment, frantic efforts to avoid real of imaginged abandonment, gothscene.com, irrational thought, Lorazepam, manuipulation, mental health, mental illness, Monk, overwhelmed, rage, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sister, suicidal ideation, suicide, Thought, Understanding | 15 Comments

Monday – Movie Rentals and Self Harm

Posted on September 7, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals, content contains description of self harm. I had planned on sleeping most of the day, seeing as to how I didnt get to sleep until 7am. Thats not how it worked … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Cocaine, Depression, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cake, cry, dead inside, depression, Eating, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, Family, mental health, mental illness, panic, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex | 9 Comments

I Really Do Wish I Could Just Disappear

Posted on September 1, 2011 by gypsy116

Over the past few days my mood has not improved much (or really at all), and my thought processes are still not right. So, I guess Ill just go ahead and start where we last left off. Tuesday night, after … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, philosophy, Phobias, reality, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Vlogs, Withdrawal | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan abuse, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cocaine, connection, DBT Centers of Michigan, depression, detachment, Dr Carolyn King, Eating, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, existence, Family, Feeling, Girl interrupted, Insomnia, Lorazepam, Lyrics, medication, mental health, mental illness, Metallica, Monk, Music, Nine Inch Nails, Nothing Else Matters, Only, paranioa, questioning reality, reality, Rebecca Royston, resentment, Schism, self harm, self injury, sex, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, Susanna Kaysen, The Becomming, Thought, Tool, videos | 6 Comments

Repression, Emptiness, Agitation

Posted on August 27, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals, contains mention of self harm and suicidal ideation. There seems to be a pattern to my days that has emerged over the past few days. The pattern being that I hang … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, bats, Bob Evans, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cocaine, dogs, Dr Carolyn King, drugs, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, fear of talking on the phone, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, self harm, self hatred, self injury, sister, Substance abuse, suicidal ideation, Thought | 7 Comments

Part 2 – The Appointment and the Aftermath So Far

Posted on August 24, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning : Post may be triggering for some individuals. Contains mention of self harm and suicidal ideation. A continuation from Part 1 – Last Night and This Morning Leading up to My Appointment Now from this point on, my memory … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan tolerance, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, depression, Disorders, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, healthy coping mechanisms, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, panic, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, rage, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Singing, sister, social anxiety, Subway, suicidal ideation, suicide, therapy, withdrawal | 7 Comments

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