Category Archives: sex

Sex, Violence, and Frustration

Posted on October 25, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering and/or offensive to some individuals. I showered on Saturday (and shaved and washed my hair). I hadnt done so, in at least a week. The fact that Im dealing with a lot of sexual … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, sex, Uncategorized | Tagged borderline personality disorder, BPD, cry, depression, Dexter, empty, mental illness, panic attack, self harm, self injury, sex, sexual frustration, withdrawal | 5 Comments

Sex and ArtPrize

Posted on October 4, 2011 by gypsy116

Sunday, my family (my dad, me, Toast, Jen, Matt and Ava) went to ArtPrize (Gabby was with her bio mom, and mom cant do that much walking, she needs new knees, so they werent able to go with us). It … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety Disorders, Art, ArtPrize, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Panic Disorders, Phobias, sex, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, art, ArtPrize, Ativan, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dexter, empty, fear, Grand Rapids Michigan, Lorazepam, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Rebecca Royston, relationships, sex, shame, Showtime, social anxiety, Subway | 2 Comments

Monday – Movie Rentals and Self Harm

Posted on September 7, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals, content contains description of self harm. I had planned on sleeping most of the day, seeing as to how I didnt get to sleep until 7am. Thats not how it worked … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Cocaine, Depression, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cake, cry, dead inside, depression, Eating, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, Family, mental health, mental illness, panic, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex | 9 Comments

Saturday Night – Sexual Frustration, Goth Chicks, and the Hope of Cocaine

Posted on September 6, 2011 by gypsy116

A shit ton of stuff has happened since I last posted, so I am feeling a bit (ok, a lot) overwhelmed about attempting to post right now. Because I am me, and I cant just skip over some of what … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, personality disorders, reality, sex, Sexual orientation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cocaine, depersonalization, depression, derealization, desperation, detachment, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, goth chicks, gothscene.com, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, Monk, overwhelmed, sex, sexual frustration, sexuality, social anxiety, suicide | 2 Comments

Gravity

Posted on July 25, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals. Content contains self harm, and suicidal ideation. When I posted Saturday night, after I had decided not to go to the show, I wasnt completely honest with you. Well, it wasnt … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Uncategorized | Tagged A Perfect Circle, addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Ativan overdose, binging, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, compulsive over eating, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depressed, depression, deviantArt, Dialectical behavir, dishonesty, Disorders, drowning, eating disorders, emotional withdrawal, emotionally unstable, empty, Feeling, Gravity A perfect Circle, honesty, Lorazepam, Lyrics, maynard James Keenan, medication, mental health, mental illness, motivation, Music, overwhelmed, panic, passion, Pet Smart, psychotherapy, Real L Word, Rebecca Royston, self harm, self hatred, self injury, self mutilation, sex, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, tension, therapy, Walgreens, Wicca | 17 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 3

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 15ths post. Our house was going into foreclosure, and we only had couple of months left to stay in the house. We had decided that we were going to move into my grandmas house (she was … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, affair, alcohol, alcoholic, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, belonging, bikini bar, bisexual, bitter, blame, blow, borderline personality disorder, Borderline relationships, BPD, camper, cheating, cocaine, comfortable, communication, control, couch dances, crying myself to sleep, denial, depressed, depression, Dexter, Disorders, dog, drug abuse, drugs, dysfunctional relationship, emotional abuse, emotional pain, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, exotic dancer, Family, fighting, financial, Flesh For the Beast, foreclosure, friends, Grand Rapids, guilt, hate, Health, indiscretion, isolation, lie, love, low self esteem, lying, manipulation, marijuana, marriage, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, motor home, myspace, Ohio, open relationship, overwhelmed, Pain For Sale, panic, panic attack, pansexual, paranioa, Pit Bull, porn addiction, positive attitude, poverty, Psychological abuse, psychotherapy, rage, Recreational vehicle, relationships, resentment, seclusion, self esteem, separation, sex, sex on cocaine, sexual issues, smoking, social anxiety, stealing, Strip club, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, suicide attempt, table dances, tattoo artist, tattooing, therapy, three some, topless dancing, uncomfortable, unemotional sex, unemployment, unhealthy coping methods, unrecognizable to myself, unstable, verbal abuse, whore house, Winnebago | 8 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 2

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 12ths post. From this point on, we have been going back and forth between periods of time where we were both committed to working on our relationship, and periods that we just basically hated each other. … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, Tattoos, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, anger, anxiety, anxoius, bisexual, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, denial, depressed, depression, dishonesty, Disorders, emotional abuse, emotionally unstable, exotic dancer, Family, financial, friends with benfits, gentleman, hate, lying, mental health, mental illness, money, Monogamy, mood, open relationship, relationships, self esteem, sex, sexual monogamy, slut, Strip club, stripper, tattoo artist, trust issues, unconventional beliefs, verbal abuse, whore | 7 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 1

Posted on July 12, 2011 by gypsy116

Ive experienced a slight downturn in mood, since I posted yesterday. Im feeling somewhat depressed and hopeless again, on the verge of tears most of the day. Last night there was a great deal of agitation (feeling like I wanted … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, sex, society, Uncategorized | Tagged acid trip, addiction, agitation, alone, anger, anguish, anxiety, anxoius, artitst, birthday, borderline personality disorder, Borderline supporter, Borderline wife, BPD, buying a house, change, control, cry myself to sleep, denial, depressed, Disorders, drivers training, emotionally unstable, empty, exotic dancer, fall in love, Family, financial, financial stress, Health, High school, high school sweethearts, irritable, jaded, job stress, learning to trust, lies, Lorazepam, love, LSD, marijuana, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, money, mood, obsessive, overwhelmed, painting, panic, panic attack, paranioa, parents, Paws With A Cause, porn, porn addiction, poverty, promise of change, protector, rage, real estate agents, relation, relationships, savior, self esteem, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, shift in mood, sister, social anxiety, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, teen sex, trust, X-Files, young marriage | 8 Comments

Anxious Positivity

Posted on July 11, 2011 by gypsy116

Last night while we were watching Bones, as I had anticipated, I started to feel the anxiety growing, and leading to extreme agitation. I started having a hard time concentrating (I hate that, every once in awhile I have to … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, sex, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dreams, drug abuse, emotionally unstable, emotions, exhaustion, fear, Health, hospitalization, husband, Insomnia, irrational fear, irrational thought, Lorazepam, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, phobia, phobia of vomiting, psychotherapy, rational thought, Rebecca Royston, relationship, sex, sick, Sleep, social anxiety, Substance abuse, tattoo, tattoo artist, therapy, Thought, thoughts, Worry | 5 Comments

Pain vs Hope

Posted on July 10, 2011 by gypsy116

I am still in a more positive frame of mind, my mood is still on the more positive side, and I am still feeling the desire to actually try to change, for anyone that cares to know. Yesterday I had … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, sex, Tattoos, Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, Ativan, black eyeliner, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, confidence, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, desire to change, Dialectical behavior therapy, disbelief, Disorders, doom and gloom, Dr Carolyn King, emotional withdrawal, emotionally unstable, Family, giddy, Health, hope, hopeful, knuckle tattoos, Lorazepam, medication, meditative affect, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, mood, mother daughter relationship, nieces, overwhelmed, pain, pain tolerance, panic, panic attack, paranioa, pigtails, positive frame of mind, psychotherapy, Rebecca Royston, recovery, sex, sister, social anxiety, supression of anxiety, tattoo, tattoo artist, therapy, Worry | 4 Comments

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