Category Archives: Sexual Identity

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 3

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 15ths post. Our house was going into foreclosure, and we only had couple of months left to stay in the house. We had decided that we were going to move into my grandmas house (she was … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, affair, alcohol, alcoholic, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, belonging, bikini bar, bisexual, bitter, blame, blow, borderline personality disorder, Borderline relationships, BPD, camper, cheating, cocaine, comfortable, communication, control, couch dances, crying myself to sleep, denial, depressed, depression, Dexter, Disorders, dog, drug abuse, drugs, dysfunctional relationship, emotional abuse, emotional pain, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, exotic dancer, Family, fighting, financial, Flesh For the Beast, foreclosure, friends, Grand Rapids, guilt, hate, Health, indiscretion, isolation, lie, love, low self esteem, lying, manipulation, marijuana, marriage, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, motor home, myspace, Ohio, open relationship, overwhelmed, Pain For Sale, panic, panic attack, pansexual, paranioa, Pit Bull, porn addiction, positive attitude, poverty, Psychological abuse, psychotherapy, rage, Recreational vehicle, relationships, resentment, seclusion, self esteem, separation, sex, sex on cocaine, sexual issues, smoking, social anxiety, stealing, Strip club, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, suicide attempt, table dances, tattoo artist, tattooing, therapy, three some, topless dancing, uncomfortable, unemotional sex, unemployment, unhealthy coping methods, unrecognizable to myself, unstable, verbal abuse, whore house, Winnebago | 8 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 2

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 12ths post. From this point on, we have been going back and forth between periods of time where we were both committed to working on our relationship, and periods that we just basically hated each other. … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, Tattoos, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, anger, anxiety, anxoius, bisexual, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, denial, depressed, depression, dishonesty, Disorders, emotional abuse, emotionally unstable, exotic dancer, Family, financial, friends with benfits, gentleman, hate, lying, mental health, mental illness, money, Monogamy, mood, open relationship, relationships, self esteem, sex, sexual monogamy, slut, Strip club, stripper, tattoo artist, trust issues, unconventional beliefs, verbal abuse, whore | 7 Comments

Warning: Still in the Realm of Delirium, and its Passing Will Be Sorely Missed

Posted on June 14, 2011 by gypsy116

My sister finally talked to someone from the doctors office this morning. They said to discontinue the Ativan all together, and supposedly someone will can me tomorrow morning with further instructions, as to what we are to do, med wise. … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, Showtime shows, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcohol, anger, anxiety, anxoius, ashamed, beliefs, bisexual, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, censorship, censorship is wrong, cocaine, connection, control, crying, delirious, delirium, depressed, depression, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dizzy, embarrassed, emotinal connection, emotionally unstable, exhaustion, Family, freedom, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, hallucinogens, Health, horny, Insomnia, let my freak flag fly, Lorazepam, loss of coordi, LSD, marriage, medication, memory problems, mental health, mental illness, offense, oral sex, orgasm, pansexual, personality disorders, positive infuence, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, queasy, Real L Word, reality, reltationship, sex, sexual identity, sexual issues, Sexual orientation, sexuality, Showtime, side effects of Ativan, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, societies view on sex, society, Television, unaware of reality, uncomfortable, Whitney Mixter | 3 Comments

Enter Delirium

Posted on June 13, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: This post may have a triggering affect on some individuals, contains suicidal ideation and intent, and reference to substance abuse, rape, and impulsive sex. I had a massive meltdown last night. I must admit that I could see it … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged mental illness, self mutilation, self injury, borderline personality disorder, BPD, self harm, therapy, medication, sex, anxiety, anger, rage, money, poverty, suicide, dog, Pit Bull, panic, Dexter, paranioa, Sleep, Insomnia, addiction, mental health, depression, reality, emotionally unstable, exhaustion, overwhelmed, agitation, control, social anxiety, empty, alone, anxoius, psychotherapy, depressed, cocaine, panic attack, razor blade, suffer, crying, Family, Health, sister, drugs, bawling, cold, tattoos, Disorders, recovery, withdrawn, love, suicidal intent, suicidal ideation, happy, psychological triggers, lies, Substance abuse, confusion, suicide plan, Rape, impulsive sex, memory problems, Bathroom, Ativan, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, Dr Carolyn King, sobbing, Lorazepam, benzodiazepines, emotional trigger, The Real L Word, Whitney Mixter, side effects, side effects of Ativan, bawling hysterically, strug out, delirium, meltdown, irritation, memory, crazy chick, suicide threats, deep sadness, promises, were not capable, Im not capable, recovery from BPD, broken, everyone is alone, I want to die, ambivilance, strung out, I dont care anymore, I want drugs, fuck me, hurt me, rape me, kill me, make me feel something, make it all go away | 7 Comments

What the Hell is Going On Here?

Posted on June 6, 2011 by gypsy116

Yesterday, after I finished posting, I didnt want to get off the computer because I didnt want to be alone inside of my head. I checked my email, and then did some more research on Ativan. Honestly to me it … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, Showtime shows, Suicide, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, binging, bisexual, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blog, BPD therapists, cocaine, compulsive over eating, control, DBT, DBT groups, depressed, depression, desire, despair, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Disorders, drugs, email, emotional pain, emotionally unstable, empty, friends, girlfriend, Grand Rapids, Health, husband, I want to feel alive, internet, irrational, lesbians, lie, Lorazepam, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, no escape, overwhelmed, panic, Pansexuality, paranioa, promise, psychotherapy, rage, razor blade, relationship, research, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, sexual frustration, shaving razor, Showtime, social anxiety, suicide, tattoos, tension, The Real L Word, therapy, wasting time, weight gain, Whitney Mixter | 5 Comments

Sick Kitties :(

Posted on May 17, 2011 by gypsy116

Im feeling very overwhelmed again. I could feel the emptiness beginning to creep its way back in last night, although I wasnt quite sure why. Possibly it had something to do with Toasts mood yesterday, he wasnt in the best … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, relationships, Science, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, society, Uncategorized, Vetinary Medicine | Tagged addiction, alcohol, anger, Animal, anti inflammatory, antibiotic, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, borderline personality disorder, BPD, brain fog, Cat, cigarettes, cocaine, control, depressed, depression, Dr Pitcairns Complete Guide to Natural Health for Dogs and Cats, drugs, emotionally unstable, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, financial, Health, holistic, Holistic Veterinary Options, holistic veterinatian, I want to feel alive, impulsive sex, kidney infection, lethargic, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, overwhelmed, pet, positive, poverty, productive, razor blades, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, suicide attempt, water bed solution | 2 Comments

Positivity, Panic, Cocaine, and women: The Chaos Inside My Mind

Posted on May 7, 2011 by gypsy116

Its warm today, like actually warm. I dont know what the temperature is but I have my windows open, and I did not need to wear a sweatshirt to take my dogs out. This puts me in such a better … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dreams, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged acceptance-seeking behavior, addiction, anger, annoying, anxiety, anxoius, attraction, bisexual, Bisexuality, blow, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, cocaine, coke, depressed, depression, Disorders, dizzy, drug abuse, drug use, drugs, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, feel like I cant breathe, friends, gay, girl friend, girlfriend, Health, heightened state of anxiety, hope, irritable, labels, lesbian, Mental disorder, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, mood, Mothers Day, obsessive, obsessive thoughts, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, panicmonster.com, Pansexuality, positivity, rules, sex, sexual identity, Sexual orientation, sexuality, sick, sister, social anxiety, straight, struggle with sexuality, suicide, uncomfortable, warm weather, Worry | 4 Comments

The Mall – Poem

Posted on March 27, 2011 by gypsy116

Toast and I had a conversation about my sexual orientation last night (I dont like labels but for those of you that need them, I would be bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual or whatever youd like to call it). It was a … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, poetry, prose, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Uncategorized | Tagged anxiety, art, avoidance, beauty, Bisexuality, Bodyart, borderline personality disorder, BPD, coming to terms with my sexuality, dark, depressed, depression, empty, friends, ignore, labels, lust, mental health, mental illness, mood, omisexual, ordinary journey, Pansexuality, pleasure, poem, poetry, prose, seductive, sex, Sexual orientation, sexuality, sinful, sirens, tattoo party, temptress, the mall | 4 Comments

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