Category Archives: society

Im Having a Hard Time Seeing Anything but Darkness

Posted on July 29, 2011 by gypsy116

I realize that I did not really give an explanation of some of the things that I was trying to talk to Toast about in my last post. The things that have been bothering me a lot lately, and I … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, society, Tattoos, Uncategorized | Tagged anger, anxiety, art, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, control, depression, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, financial, guilt, infertility, Insomnia, job, mental health, mental illness, money, overwhelmed, Pain For Sale, panic attack, poverty, psychotherapy, sister, starving artist, suicide, tattoo artist, therapy, Thought, Toastart, work | 5 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 3

Posted on July 15, 2011 by gypsy116

A continuation from July 15ths post. Our house was going into foreclosure, and we only had couple of months left to stay in the house. We had decided that we were going to move into my grandmas house (she was … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, society, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, affair, alcohol, alcoholic, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, belonging, bikini bar, bisexual, bitter, blame, blow, borderline personality disorder, Borderline relationships, BPD, camper, cheating, cocaine, comfortable, communication, control, couch dances, crying myself to sleep, denial, depressed, depression, Dexter, Disorders, dog, drug abuse, drugs, dysfunctional relationship, emotional abuse, emotional pain, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, exotic dancer, Family, fighting, financial, Flesh For the Beast, foreclosure, friends, Grand Rapids, guilt, hate, Health, indiscretion, isolation, lie, love, low self esteem, lying, manipulation, marijuana, marriage, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, motor home, myspace, Ohio, open relationship, overwhelmed, Pain For Sale, panic, panic attack, pansexual, paranioa, Pit Bull, porn addiction, positive attitude, poverty, Psychological abuse, psychotherapy, rage, Recreational vehicle, relationships, resentment, seclusion, self esteem, separation, sex, sex on cocaine, sexual issues, smoking, social anxiety, stealing, Strip club, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, suicide attempt, table dances, tattoo artist, tattooing, therapy, three some, topless dancing, uncomfortable, unemotional sex, unemployment, unhealthy coping methods, unrecognizable to myself, unstable, verbal abuse, whore house, Winnebago | 8 Comments

Toast + Gypsy Forever? (Maybe, Sometimes, Yes Forever) – Part 1

Posted on July 12, 2011 by gypsy116

Ive experienced a slight downturn in mood, since I posted yesterday. Im feeling somewhat depressed and hopeless again, on the verge of tears most of the day. Last night there was a great deal of agitation (feeling like I wanted … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, relationships, sex, society, Uncategorized | Tagged acid trip, addiction, agitation, alone, anger, anguish, anxiety, anxoius, artitst, birthday, borderline personality disorder, Borderline supporter, Borderline wife, BPD, buying a house, change, control, cry myself to sleep, denial, depressed, Disorders, drivers training, emotionally unstable, empty, exotic dancer, fall in love, Family, financial, financial stress, Health, High school, high school sweethearts, irritable, jaded, job stress, learning to trust, lies, Lorazepam, love, LSD, marijuana, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, money, mood, obsessive, overwhelmed, painting, panic, panic attack, paranioa, parents, Paws With A Cause, porn, porn addiction, poverty, promise of change, protector, rage, real estate agents, relation, relationships, savior, self esteem, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, shift in mood, sister, social anxiety, stripper, Substance abuse, suicide, teen sex, trust, X-Files, young marriage | 8 Comments

Maladjusted People of Good Will

Posted on July 3, 2011 by gypsy116

I am currently experiencing a lot anxiety around doing this post. I know that once I get going it will more than likely dissipate (posting in general is soothing to me, it helps to calm and focus my mind), but … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, Depression, eating disorders, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Suicide, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, agitation, American Psychiatic Association, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Ativan overdose, binging, black eyeliner, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, burden, chaos, closed minds, cocaine, comfort zone, community mental health services, communtiy mental health, communtiy mental health system, compulsive overeating, control, counting calories, culture, delirium, depressed, depression, discrimination, Disorders, drug abuse, drugs, eating disorders, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, emotions, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, Family, fear, fear of abandonment, fear of change, fear of losing those I love, financial, Forest View Hospital, free minds, frustration, great minds, Health, hypoglycemia, impulsive sex, inner experience, Insomnia, inspiration, Lorazepam, loss of control, Martin Luther King Jr, mass reality, Medicaid, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, mood, Netflix, Network 180, obsess, organic food, ostricized, overdose, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, Payless, Personality disorder, personality disorders, pisssed off, poverty, pressure, psychiatric hospital, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, punished, puppies and kittens, pushy sales man, rage, reality, realization, recovery, reflective, religious bigotry, segregation, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, semi positivity, sex, sick, sing, Singing, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, society, stress, Substance abuse, suffering, suicide, suicide attempt, therapy, thoughts, uncomfortable, war going on inside myself, weight gain, Worry | 9 Comments

Fun with DBT, People I Love, Psychic Dreams, and More…

Posted on June 16, 2011 by gypsy116

Holy shit, I have a ton of stuff I want to talk about. I could literally talk for hours, but thats not going to happen. I feel like shit. I am extremely exhausted, my body has been put through the … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, Dreams, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Religion, Science, sex, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Uncategorized | Tagged agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Belief, believe, bizarre dreams, borderline personality disorder, BPD, connected, control, conversationalist, cottage, crazy, creepy, dancer, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Deb Spoors, delirious, delirium, depressed, desperation, Dialectical behavior therapy, discrimination, discrimination against homosexuals, Disorders, dreams, eerie, emotinal conn, emotionally unstable, empty, Energy, exhaustion, Facebook, Family, fear, fear of change, hard time concentrating, Health, hope, hopeless, in love, Insomnia, Lorazepam, love, medication, memory issues, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, negative, obsess, obsessive thoughts, optimistic, overstimulated, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, positivity, psychic conncetions, psychic dreams, psychotherapy, religion, sex, sexual connection, sick, sister, Sleep, small talk, social anxiety, society, stress, stripper, suicide, terrified, therapist, therapy, vacation, wardrobe malfunction, withdrawn, Worry | 7 Comments

Warning: Still in the Realm of Delirium, and its Passing Will Be Sorely Missed

Posted on June 14, 2011 by gypsy116

My sister finally talked to someone from the doctors office this morning. They said to discontinue the Ativan all together, and supposedly someone will can me tomorrow morning with further instructions, as to what we are to do, med wise. … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, sex, Sexual Identity, Sexual orientation, Showtime shows, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Television programs, Uncategorized | Tagged addiction, alcohol, anger, anxiety, anxoius, ashamed, beliefs, bisexual, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, censorship, censorship is wrong, cocaine, connection, control, crying, delirious, delirium, depressed, depression, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dizzy, embarrassed, emotinal connection, emotionally unstable, exhaustion, Family, freedom, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, hallucinogens, Health, horny, Insomnia, let my freak flag fly, Lorazepam, loss of coordi, LSD, marriage, medication, memory problems, mental health, mental illness, offense, oral sex, orgasm, pansexual, personality disorders, positive infuence, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, queasy, Real L Word, reality, reltationship, sex, sexual identity, sexual issues, Sexual orientation, sexuality, Showtime, side effects of Ativan, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, societies view on sex, society, Television, unaware of reality, uncomfortable, Whitney Mixter | 3 Comments

The Night I Decided to Die

Posted on May 22, 2011 by gypsy116

Warning: this post may be triggering for some individuals Im feeling incredibly depressed today. Im home alone right now, since Ive been back in Michigan I havent wanted to be alone at all, but right now I am glad that … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, community mental health, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Phobias, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, society, Suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged a danger to myself, addiction, alone, ambulance, anger, anxiety, anxoius, arguing, bath, blow, borderline personality disorder, BPD, brain fog, change, cigarettes, claustraphobia, cocaine, cognitive, coke head, Colorado, community mental health, Community mental health service, community mental health system, control, crisis, crisis intervention program, cruel doctors, cry, depressed, depression, Disorders, drug, drug induced sex, Effexor XR, emergency 911, emotional pain, emotionally unstable, emptiness, empty, EMT, exotic dancer, failed suicide attempt, Family, friendship, gentlemans club, government, grief, guilt, Health, high, hope, hospital, infertility, irate, iron poisoning, irrational, loopy, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, Network 180, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, police officer, privacy, psychotrophic drugs, rage, razor blade, recovery, Recreational vehicle, roommate, sadness, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, shame, sick, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, Strip club, strippers, suicide, suicide attempt, tattoo needle, Thought, trust, unstable, violent outbursts, vitamins | 18 Comments

Sick Kitties :(

Posted on May 17, 2011 by gypsy116

Im feeling very overwhelmed again. I could feel the emptiness beginning to creep its way back in last night, although I wasnt quite sure why. Possibly it had something to do with Toasts mood yesterday, he wasnt in the best … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, relationships, Science, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Sexual Identity, society, Uncategorized, Vetinary Medicine | Tagged addiction, alcohol, anger, Animal, anti inflammatory, antibiotic, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, borderline personality disorder, BPD, brain fog, Cat, cigarettes, cocaine, control, depressed, depression, Dr Pitcairns Complete Guide to Natural Health for Dogs and Cats, drugs, emotionally unstable, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, financial, Health, holistic, Holistic Veterinary Options, holistic veterinatian, I want to feel alive, impulsive sex, kidney infection, lethargic, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, overwhelmed, pet, positive, poverty, productive, razor blades, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, suicide attempt, water bed solution | 2 Comments

Video Journal

Posted on May 15, 2011 by gypsy116

Nothing of much significance to report. Other than some minor agitation due anxiety at the grocery store earlier, my mood has stayed pretty much the same, which has been for the most part positive. This left me debating as to … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, eating disorders, general life, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, society, Suicide, Uncategorized, Video Blogs, Vlogs | Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, borderline personality disorder, BPD, depressed, depression, Disorders, documentary, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, empty, Health, isolation, mental health, mental illness, mental illness documentary, money, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, personal, positive mood, psychological triggers, rage, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, social anxiety, suicide, Video clip, video journal, YouTube | 13 Comments

The Past Few Days – Part 2

Posted on May 12, 2011 by gypsy116

To continue where I left off yesterday, I was starting to have strong feelings of determination, and the desire to change. My mood however, continued to be quite unstable for most of the day (Tuesday). We had a vet appointment … Continue reading →

Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Energy, general life, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, philosophy, Pit Bull, reality, relationships, society, Uncategorized, Vetinary Medicine | Tagged agitation, alternatives to psychiatry, anti inflammatory, anxiety, anxoius, arguement, beliefs, borderline personality disorder, BPD, crippling anxiety, Deb Spoors, depressed, depression, desire to change, determination, Dexter, Disorders, do or die, dog, Dr. Ditanto, emotionally unstable, Energy, Family, Health, health care, holistic, Holistic Veterinary Options, holistic veterinatian, homeopathy, immune system issues, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, misery, nervousness, pain, panic, panic attack, paralyzing fear, Paws With A Cause, physical exam, Pit Bull, positivity, psychotrophic drugs, sex, sexual frustration, side affects, Sleep, social anxiety, strength, stress, suicide, tattoo artist, The Biggest Loser, therapy, warm weather, weight gain, weight loss, workout, worthless | 9 Comments

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