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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Category Archives: Songs
The Constant War Inside My Head (and Body)
Holy mother of fuck, I cant breathe. Sorry, Just thinking about writing this post is intimidating. Its been a few days since I last posted (I have not had time), and I have way to much that I want/need to … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Songs, Suicide, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, anger, anguish, anxiety, anxoius, argue, bass guitar, blood test, borderline personality disorder, BPD, breaking point, change, cocaine, commitment, consumed, contemplative, control, curly hair, DBT, Deep Shine, depressed, depression, Dexter, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dog, drugs, emotional pain, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, empty, fail, Family, fear, fear of change, fear of loss of control, fighting, financial, financial independance, Fuck, Health, Hesitate, hollow promises, Insomnia, intimidating, irrational, judge, lack of control, lies, Lorazepam, Lyrics, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, Music, music video, overwhelmed, pain, Pain For Sale, panic, panic attack, paranioa, Pit Bull, poverty, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, rage, rational, recovery, reflective, relationship, Rodrick Dantzler, Rusk, sex, shootings in Michigan July 7 2011, sick, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, Songs, Stone Sour, stressful environment, struggle, suicide, tattoo artist, therapy, Thought, tolerance, try, violence, war, war inside my head, wasted life, wasted time, wdding ring, weight gain, weight loss
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Life Wasted
Warning: This Post may be triggering for some individuals, there is some mention of suicidal ideation, intent and self harm. 1st, sorry for posting twice today (although Im not sure, this may not end up posted until early tomorrow morning), … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, Obsession, personality disorders, poetry, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Songs, Suicide, Television programs, Uncategorized
Tagged Adam Levine, addiction, agitation, alcohol, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Atian overdose, Ativan, Beautiful Christina Aguilera, Beverly McClellan, Blood, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, Christina Aguilera, cocaine, compulsive overeating, confliction, confusion, delusion, depressed, depression, Dia Frampton, Disorders, drug abuse, drugs, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, empty, escape, Family, fantasize, Health, Inventing Shadows, Javier Colon, life wasted, Lorazepam, lost, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Michael Jackson, Music, overdosing, overwhelmed, pain, performance, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, rage, recovery, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, signs from the universe, Singing, sister, social anxiety, Songs, Stitch by Stitch, Substance abuse, suicidal ideation, suicidal intent, suicide, sweet release, The Man In The Mirror, The Voice, therapy, waste of life
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Is Love Only Sweeter When One of us Dies
Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals. Content contains graphic description of self harm, and some suicidal ideation. Last night, after I got off the computer, I again laid in bed and stared at the wall. Again I … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, poetry, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Showtime shows, Songs, Television programs, Uncategorized, United States of Tara, United States of Tara cancellation
Tagged abandonment issues, abyss, addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, anxoius, bawl, binging, Blood, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, Brie Larson, Burlingame Dairy Dip, cancellation of United States of Tara, comfort, compulsive over eating, computer, control, coping, cry, decision, depressed, depression, despair, devastation, Disorders, Eat me drink me, eating disorders, emotional triggers, emotionally sensitive, emotionally unstable, empathy, emptiness, empty, Family, fear of abandonment, hatred, Health, hopelessness, I want to feel something, ice cream, ignored, incapable of feeling, Insomnia, irrational, issues, Just A Car Crash Away, Kate Gregson, Kier Gilchrist, Lionel Trane, loss of faith, love, Marilyn Manson, marriage, marriage to a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, Marshall Gregson, mental health, mental illness, Michael J. Willett, New York City, no resolution, not fair, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, poetry, protest the cancellation of United States of Tara, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, racing thoughts, rage, Razor, razor blade, relationship, sadness, self harm, self hate, self hatred, self injury, self mutilation, self worth, Showtime, Showtime Networks, sickening, Sleep, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicide, surreal, Tara Gregson, therapy, Toni Collette, United States of Tara, wounds
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Make Me Bad
Last night we watched the movie Downloading Nancy, as suggested by a fellow blogger (http://skyeee.wordpress.com/) awhile back. It was incredibly sad, but I liked it a lot. Toast told me that he found it kind of odd that the movie … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD Blogs, general life, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, poetry, relationships, sex, Songs, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Arizona, Arts, black eyeliner, borderline personality disorder, BPD, changing my life, control, Conversation, depressed, depression, Disorders, Downloading Nancy, emotionally unstable, empty, Feeling, Fuck, Insomnia, Jonathan Davis, Korn, Lyrics, Make Me Bad Korn, mental health, mental illness, mood, movie, Music, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, pig tails, Rape, reason, sex, sexual frustration, skyeee.wordpress.com, Sleep, Trash Korn, weight gain, weight loss, withdrawn, working out, worthlessness
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Wasted
No real improvement in mood thus far. I again spent most of the day with my sister, but today was hectic. Im feeling drained. My sister talked me into coming over to her place for awhile. She has her friends … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dreams, general life, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, poetry, prose, reality, relationships, sex, Songs, Uncategorized
Tagged abandonment, alone, anxiety, anxoius, awake, bizarre dreams, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cold, cruel, cry, depressed, depression, Disorders, drained, Dream, Dream Journals, Dream Sharing, dream state, emotionally unstable, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, Family, filthy sex, furious, Interpretation, lonliness, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, mood, my lifes been wasted, numb, outcasts of society, overwhelmed, poem, poetry, prose, Psychology, rage, realistic dreams, self destruction, sex, sex dreams, sick, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, song, soul, Stabbing Westward, tired, trapped, vivid dreams, Wasted
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Year Zero
Im still not feeling well, although today is the 1st day Ive actually started to feel any improvement. Im still exhausted and just feel drained, so this post will be brief, with some related song lyrics to accompany it. Last … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Energy, general life, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, philosophy, poetry, prose, reality, Religion, society, Songs, Spitituality, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, after life, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ashes, borderline personality disorder, BPD, chosen ones, cold, control, conversations, damaging behaviors, darkness, depressed, depression, doubt, emotionally unstable, empty, end of the world, Faith, Family, fear, God, government, hard time breathing, hard time controlling thoughts, Health, hypocrisy in reliegion, illness, impulsive behaviors, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, negative feelings, Nine Inch Nails, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, poem, poetry, postive feelings, prayer, prose, reality, religion, restless, sick, society, Songs, spiritual contemplation, Spirituality, Trent Reznor, waves of panic, Year Zero
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Songs for Today
I made myself workout yesterday, despite still not feeling well, Probably a bad idea. I feel worse today, and did not workout. Im probably going to have to take a few days off (I caught this from my sister, and … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, eating disorders, general life, mental health, mental illness, Music, personality disorders, poetry, relationships, Songs, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, anxiety, anxoius, Arts, borderline personality disorder, BPD, communication, depressed, depression, Disorders, emotionally unstable, Family, food, Forty-six and 2, Health, illness, Literature, Lyrics, mental health, mental illness, money, muscle memory, Music, organic food, panic, paranioa, poem, poetry, positive, poverty, Schism, Shadow, sick, sinus infection, sister, Tool (band), weight gain, weight loss, whole food, workout
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Every Day is Exactly the Same
I have some things that I wanted to talk about but I dont have time. This is the 3rd day in a row that I havent had time to post. Anyway, Ive decided to just post a song. Every Day … Continue reading
