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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Category Archives: Television programs
Sunday – The Zoo and More
Saturday night, after Toast read my post for that day (Repression, Emptiness, Agitation), where I had talked about crying after having an unexpected encounter with a rogue dog and our dogs, he had told me that it made him feel … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Television programs, Uncategorized, Zoos
Tagged agitation, anger, Animal, anxiety, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, Detroit Zoo, drugs, Family, fear of talking on the phone, freedom, John Ball Park Zoo, lions, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, Pit Bull, pygmy goats, Rebecca Roys, sex, Singing, Thought, True Blood, wallabies, zoo
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I Just Feel Helpless, Hopeless
Just thinking about writing this post is overwhelming me right now. I didnt have time to post yesterday so now I feel like I have no idea where to begin, or how to say what it is that I want … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, personality disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Television programs, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, anger, anxiety, baby, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, children, communication, control, depression, Disorders, emotionally unstable, emotions, empty, exhaustion, Family, Fuck, helpless, hope, hopeless, infertility, Insomnia, irrational thoughs, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, psychological crisis, psychotherapy, rage, recovery, self hate, self hatred, sister, Sleep, So You Think You Can Dance, social anxiety, suicide, therapy, Thought, thoughts
3 Comments
Obviously I Need A Break
Last night, Im not sure exactly what my deal was, but apparently I was just way to overwhelmed. We watched Weeds and The Big C, and then were going to watch the last 2 episodes of season 5 of Bones … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, eating disorders, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Showtime shows, Television programs, Uncategorized, United States of Tara, United States of Tara cancellation
Tagged addiction, agitation, Amazon, anxiety, Big C, binging, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, depressed, depression, Disorders, drug abuse, drugs, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, fear of abandonment, Insomnia, mental health, mental illness, Netflix, overwhelmed, panic, paranioa, pathetic, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sister, Sleep, Substance abuse, Television, United States of Tara, Weeds
4 Comments
How Long Before The Fall?
I have been trying to keep myself busy, in order to stave off the underlying anxiety and hopelessness. For a couple of days it actually worked, , slowly but surely it has found a way to creep back in. Tuesday … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Music, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Pit Bull, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Television programs, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, analyze, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, birthday party, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, break down, change, concert, conscioiusness, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, depressed, depression, Dexter, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dog, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, failure, Family, fear, Feeling, financial, giant puppy, Health, hopelessness, Insomnia, irritable, Lorazepam, love, medication, mental health, mental illness, Miniskirt, money, mood, motivated, negative mood, Netflix, nuetral mood, obsess, only get one life, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, panicky, paranioa, pig tails, Pit Bull, pony tail, positive mood, poverty, psychotherapy, recovery, scared, self hate, self hatred, show, sister, Sleep, Slumlord Radio, social anxiety, terrified, therapy, thinking, wasting life, weight gain, weight loss, workout
3 Comments
Confliction and Time Constraints
I was not going to post today because I did not have time, but Im not doing very well and I feel like I need to post. I feel like I need to get some of the stuff inside of … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Pit Bull, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Television programs, Vetinary Medicine
Tagged agitation, ambivalence, anger, animal emergency hospital, anxiety, anxoius, Arizona, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, Cat, complications, confliction, control, dead inside, depressed, depression, desire to change, Dexter, Disorders, distress, dog, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, fear, Health, hydrogen peroxide, inability to handle stress, irritabiltiy, Kleenex, lack of control, lack of time, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, pictures, pissed off, Pit Bull, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, rage, sister, So You Think You Can Dance, stress, tension, terrified, Thought, time, time constraints, urinary tract infection, Worry
4 Comments
Anxious Positivity
Last night while we were watching Bones, as I had anticipated, I started to feel the anxiety growing, and leading to extreme agitation. I started having a hard time concentrating (I hate that, every once in awhile I have to … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, Dreams, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, Psychotherapy, reality, sex, Television programs, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, BPD blogs, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, Disorders, dreams, drug abuse, emotionally unstable, emotions, exhaustion, fear, Health, hospitalization, husband, Insomnia, irrational fear, irrational thought, Lorazepam, marriage, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, phobia, phobia of vomiting, psychotherapy, rational thought, Rebecca Royston, relationship, sex, sick, Sleep, social anxiety, Substance abuse, tattoo, tattoo artist, therapy, Thought, thoughts, Worry
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Between A Rock and A Hard Place
Sunday night, Toast and I, were going to watch True Blood, and The Real L Word, but True Blood wasnt on (because of the holiday weekend, maybe?). That was disappointing and made me somewhat depressed. Watching The Real L Word, … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, eating disorders, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Television programs, Uncategorized
Tagged 4th of July, addiction, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, avoidance, band, bass guitar, Between a rock and a hard place, birthday, borderline personality disorder, BPD, comfort, control, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Deb Spoors, depressed, depression, Dialectical behavior therapy, disbelief in recovery, Disorders, dreams, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, empty, excitment, exhaustion, Facebook, Family, fear of change, fears, financial, Fireworks, fun, gay, Grandville MI, Health, helplessness, honesty, I am my own worst enemy, independence day, Insomnia, lack of desire to try, lesbian, Lorazepam, marijuana, medication, mental health, mental illness, money, motivation, Music, nervous, no privacy, nostalgia, not the norm of society, outcasts of society, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, pointless, positive afeect on mood, poverty, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, Real L Word, Rebecca Royston, relationships, side effects of Ativan, sing, Singing, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, South Park, The Big C, therapy, True Blood, uncomfortable, want to have friends, want to live, want to try, Weeds, weight gain, weight loss, Whitney Mixter
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Maladjusted People of Good Will
I am currently experiencing a lot anxiety around doing this post. I know that once I get going it will more than likely dissipate (posting in general is soothing to me, it helps to calm and focus my mind), but … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, Depression, eating disorders, Energy, general life, Health, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, philosophy, Psychotherapy, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, sex, Side Effects of Ativan, society, Suicide, Television programs, Uncategorized
Tagged addiction, agitation, American Psychiatic Association, anger, anxiety, anxoius, Ativan, Ativan overdose, binging, black eyeliner, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, burden, chaos, closed minds, cocaine, comfort zone, community mental health services, communtiy mental health, communtiy mental health system, compulsive overeating, control, counting calories, culture, delirium, depressed, depression, discrimination, Disorders, drug abuse, drugs, eating disorders, emotional triggers, emotionally unstable, emotions, emptiness, empty, exhaustion, Family, fear, fear of abandonment, fear of change, fear of losing those I love, financial, Forest View Hospital, free minds, frustration, great minds, Health, hypoglycemia, impulsive sex, inner experience, Insomnia, inspiration, Lorazepam, loss of control, Martin Luther King Jr, mass reality, Medicaid, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, mood, Netflix, Network 180, obsess, organic food, ostricized, overdose, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, paranioa, Payless, Personality disorder, personality disorders, pisssed off, poverty, pressure, psychiatric hospital, psychological triggers, psychotherapy, punished, puppies and kittens, pushy sales man, rage, reality, realization, recovery, reflective, religious bigotry, segregation, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, semi positivity, sex, sick, sing, Singing, sister, Sleep, social anxiety, society, stress, Substance abuse, suffering, suicide, suicide attempt, therapy, thoughts, uncomfortable, war going on inside myself, weight gain, Worry
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