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Through My Eyes: Adventures in Borderline Land
Tag Archives: medication
From Bad to Worse to Being Sedated and Subdued by Hospital Security – Part 4
Warning : The following 4 part post may be triggering for some individuals, content contains suicidal ideation and self harm. I also ask that there be no judgement of me. I am letting you take a look inside of my … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, Panic Disorders, personality disorders, Phobias, reality, relationships, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized
Tagged anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, cruel and unusual punishment, depression, doctors, Emergency room, emotionally unstable, empty, EMTs, exhaustion, Family, Forest View Hospital, hospital, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, misuse of power, nurses, overwhelmed, panic, panic attack, phobia, phobia of vomiting, psychiatric hospital, rage, restraint, sedative, self harm, sister, subdued, suicidal ideation, Thought, Understanding
17 Comments
Mid “Episode” Post
Network 180 called both Toast and Jen earlier and left messages saying that it would be about a week until I can get in to the detox program, and that we should call up to Turning Point everyday to let … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, relationships, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, control, emotionally unstable, Family, Insomnia, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, rage, reality, sister, social anxiety, suicide, Thought
3 Comments
Detox, Network 180, and the Bullshit in the System
Yesterday, we talked to dad about the possibility of me doing neurofeedback. He agreed that it would be a positive thing for me to try and it was decided that I will be trying that. I emailed Becky (DBT Centers … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Arbor Circle, Ativan, Ativan withdrawal, benzodiazepine withdrawal, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, detox, Dr Carolyn King, Family, Lorazepam, Medicaid, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, money, Network 180, neurofeedback, Neurotherapy Associates of West Michigan, overwhelmed, Rebecca Royston, side effects of Ativan, sister, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, suicidal intent, Turning Point, West Michigan, withdrawal
3 Comments
Tuesday – DBT, Neurofeedback, and More From Dr King
When Becky (DBT Centers of Michigan) came to get me for my appointment today, she asked if it would be alright if Toast came back too. I thought that this was a little weird, and I wondered why, but I … Continue reading
Posted in Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, community mental health, DBT, Holistic Health, mental health, mental illness, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, anxiety, Ativan, Ativan withdrawal, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, empty, hospitalization, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, Michigan, neurofeedback, Neurotherapy Associates of West Michigan, overwhelmed, Rebecca Royston, social anxiety, Thought, West Michigan, withdrawal
7 Comments
Saturday Night – Sexual Frustration, Goth Chicks, and the Hope of Cocaine
A shit ton of stuff has happened since I last posted, so I am feeling a bit (ok, a lot) overwhelmed about attempting to post right now. Because I am me, and I cant just skip over some of what … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, Obsession, personality disorders, reality, sex, Sexual orientation, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cocaine, depersonalization, depression, derealization, desperation, detachment, emotionally unstable, empty, exhaustion, goth chicks, gothscene.com, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, Monk, overwhelmed, sex, sexual frustration, sexuality, social anxiety, suicide
2 Comments
Ativan, A Sneaky Little Bit of Evil
Ok, todays post is going to be all about my current situation with Ativan. Im having a little bit of a hard time getting my thoughts straight at the moment, so I feel the need to go back to the … Continue reading
Posted in Abuse, Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, Depression, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Arizona, Ativan, Ativan tolerance, Ativan withdrawal, benzodiazepine withdrawal, borderline personality disorder, BPD, dancing, DBT, Deb Spoors, delirium, Dialectical behavior therapy, Dr Carolyn King, Effexor withdrawal, Family, Insomnia, Integrated Psychiatric Medicine, inter dose withdrawal, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, Nuerontin, psychiatrist, psychotherapy, side effects of Ativan, Singing, Valium
13 Comments
Detach, Detach, I Must Detach, I Will Not Let My Emotions Win
Im feeling kind of weird. My thoughts processes have been a bit off all day. I wasnt planning on posting today, but I was just filled with the overwhelming need to get some of this out of me, so here … Continue reading
Posted in Agitation, Anxiety, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, Depression, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, reality, Uncategorized
Tagged agitation, Annabel Lee, anxiety, art, Ativan, borderline personality disorder, BPD, depression, detachment, diminshed faith, dissability, Dr Carolyn King, Edgar Allan Poe, Emotion, emotionally unstable, empty, expectations, Feeling, hopelessness, irrational thought, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, SSA, ssi, suicidal ideation, suicide, Thought
16 Comments
Monday – News From the Psychiatrist and My Appointment
I woke up in a bad mood today. I didnt feel like I was going to have enough time to get what I needed to get done, done before my appointment with Becky (DBT Centers Of Michigan), which I ended … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorders, Art, Beliefs, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, DBT, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, Psychotherapy, reality, Side Effects of Ativan, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, antiepileptics, anxiety, Ativan, Benzodiazepine, borderline personality disorder, BPD, DBT, DBT Centers of Michigan, Dialectical behavior therapy, Diazepam, Dr Carolyn King, emotionally unstable, gsbapentin, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, neurontin, overwhelmed, panic, psychotherapy, Rebeccan Royston, social anxiety, suicide, Valium
4 Comments
Repression, Emptiness, Agitation
Warning: This post may be triggering for some individuals, contains mention of self harm and suicidal ideation. There seems to be a pattern to my days that has emerged over the past few days. The pattern being that I hang … Continue reading
Posted in Addiction, Agitation, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD and me, BPD Blogs, mental health, mental illness, personality disorders, self harm, self injury, self mutilation, Side Effects of Ativan, Suicide, Uncategorized, Withdrawal
Tagged addiction, agitation, anger, anxiety, Ativan, bats, Bob Evans, Bones, borderline personality disorder, BPD, cocaine, dogs, Dr Carolyn King, drugs, emotionally unstable, empty, Family, fear of talking on the phone, Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder, Lorazepam, medication, mental health, mental illness, overwhelmed, self harm, self hatred, self injury, sister, Substance abuse, suicidal ideation, Thought
7 Comments
