Tag Archives: overwhelmed

I Do Not Want to End Up with a Crush on My Therapist

Posted on May 9, 2012 by

Last Friday, I had group and it was the 1st time that I was supposed to meet Patti.  I did not want to go.  My anxiety was through the fucking roof.  I usually eat sunflower seeds and frozen blueberries before … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

I want to give the f*ck up

Posted on February 28, 2012 by

Ive spent most of the evening feeling sick, feeling panicky, feeling like I just want to give the fuck up and die.  I do not want to live in this land of fear anymore.  Ive spent all night acutely aware … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

So Much For Progress – Part 2

Posted on February 15, 2012 by

A continuation from So Much For Progress – Part 1. I came into the bedroom and went and sat on my side of the bed.  Toast was sitting on the other side of the bed with his head in his … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Feelings are Just Feelings, I Dont Have to Give Them Control

Posted on February 8, 2012 by

Monday night was again spent dealing with severe anxiety and panic.  I kept thinking about my therapy appointment (DBT Centers of Michigan) the next day.  I just wanted to be able to fucking breathe.  I kept wondering how long it … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Causing the Hammer to Fall, the Other Shoe to Drop

Posted on January 19, 2012 by

Last night I fell off the edge of the map a little.  Had a bit of a “episode”.  I was exhausted and I know that had its part to play, but we didnt end up going to bed until after … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Avoid, avoid, avoid

Posted on January 15, 2012 by

Im not in the best of moods today.  Ive had an extra helping of anxiety to deal with over the past few days (since I dropped to 2mg of Ativan on Thursday).  Besides that my birthday is tomorrow, which Im … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Back to the Present – Emetophobia

Posted on December 18, 2011 by

Warning: This post may have a triggering affect on some individuals.  Content contains suicidal ideation. Last night Jen called to ask what we are going to do about Monday?  I said that I didnt know.  She asked where it was … Continue reading →

Posted in Phobias, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Odd Things that Motivate Me

Posted on December 10, 2011 by

In case you hadnt noticed, Ive hardly posted at all this week.  I think there was actually 3 whole days this week that I didnt even get on the computer (that never happens).  My sisters birthday was yesterday, and she … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

I Just Need Some Relief

Posted on December 5, 2011 by

Im feeling empty and hopeless tonight, agitated.  These feelings have been tugging at my insides all day but Ive been fighting them off, ignoring them.  I feel so fucking pointless.  I dont feel real.  I feel like crying.  I feel … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Opening the Communication Doorway

Posted on December 4, 2011 by

A continuation from My Whole World Crumbles When I Think Hes Gone – Therapy. I told him that Im afraid, and the reasons why (afraid hell judge me, get mad, or wont say anything), and that I dont know how to … Continue reading →

Posted in Borderline Personality Disorder, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments